Lost Without You/A Jordan Knight FanFic✔️

09

NOW

"When are you moving in?" Lucy asks as I load the last box that will fit into the back of the truck. She volunteered me to help them move out in spite of Alice and Luke insisting they didn't need my help.

"After I get back from my work trip." I close the tailgate and tug off my leather gloves.

"Well, at least you'll get to enjoy the firepit area you constructed."

With a hint of a smile, the painful kind, I nod.
"True. You know your mom said you can visit me whenever you want now. It doesn't just have to be Saturdays. You have a license and car. So if you feel like s'mores and talking about guys with your dad ..."

She laughs. "S'mores maybe. Guys no. You still haven't met Ashton."

"Yeah, where is he? If he's such a great guy, why isn't he here helping move your stuff?"

She shuffles her feet up the sidewalk to the front door. "He has soccer today."

"Sports guy, huh? I might like him. Does he play real football too?"

"Dad ..." she draws out my name as we head into the house.

"Okay, I think we're good. I'll meet you at the house," Luke says just before bending down to kiss my wife on the cheek.

Alice's body stiffens a fraction. Is she not comfortable with him kissing her in front of me? Then maybe she should tell him to keep his lips to himself. I know I want to say those words to him. It's not that he's a bad guy. He seems nice enough, just not for my wife.

"Okay. I'm going to take one more look around upstairs. I'll meet you there."

"Lucy Loo ... you coming with me?" Luke thinks his name for my daughter is cute. Me? Not so much.

"My car has stuff in the back, so I'll follow you," she says.

"See you there." I give Lucy a wink.

When the door closes behind Lucy and Luke, I take a minute to look at my wife for possibly the last time standing in the living room of the home we built together. She can't even meet my gaze. Her nerves and scattered emotions thrum through the room with a palpable beat like someone's pulse as adrenaline shoots through their veins.

"I wanted you to make a clean break too," she mumbles, glancing around the room. "I hope living here doesn't haunt you. And if it does, I hope you can swallow your pride and just sell the place."

"There's nowhere I feel more at peace ... more at home ... than standing under this roof."

Her gaze locks with mine. "How can you possibly say that?" she asks with the wind knocked out of her lungs.

My mouth opens to vomit a million reasons why I want to live here, but I clamp it shut and clear my throat. "Let's have a look around and make sure you have everything you want. Of course, if you forget something, I won't change the locks. You are always welcome here." My effort to shift the conversation turns up fruitless.

I'm not sure she's blinked since my confession. Now things are just really uncomfortable. We have very different needs. I need to continue my scavenger hunt, the one where I'm hunting for the pieces to my life so I can put them back together, holes and all.

Alice still feels the need to pound her fists and stomp her feet until the remnants of the life we created are nothing more than dust.

"Did you empty the hiding spot in the closet?" I ask and it brings her out of her state of shock.

She shakes her head. "Totally forgot."

I head toward the master bedroom on the main floor. We put a false wall in the back of the closet to hide important things, including Christmas and birthday presents. Tapping the upper right corner, it triggers the panel to release.