⚠️Curse words and upsetting topics about self hate⚠️
There are some guys that I went to school with before I got transferred to home schooling. They tend to make a lot of jokes about wanting to date me. At least I thought they were jokes. I am not sure anymore. Two of them were poking fun at me like normal. I was fine with it until idk what came over me, but they made me upset and I spamed a bunch of hate comments of myself. Like "I'm literally the ugliest person I know" and "you could literally find people who are way better than me" and I decide to leave few seconds later they blow up my phone saying sorry and using dumb ass pickup lines. Then one of them broke the ice and asked, "Can you date me?" I said in your dreams, but he kept asking to the point where I almost felt like he's genuinely sorry and genuinely liked me. I feel like a piece of shit. I still don't really like them, but there are still nice people. Even if they don't know when to shut up or when to stop. I feel worse than I did putting myself down because when I put myself down, I know I deserve it somewhat. And it doesn't hurt me that much. It's kind of a coping mechanism, f**ked up, I know. But I know that they don't deserve it, and I feel like a peace of shit.
