TordTom OneShots

Hold Me [Angst]

Requested!! :D
I tried to stay close to the original request but I don't know if I'd be able to fit it all in one chapter... So it's a little altered.

TRIGGER WARNING : Mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation!!
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No one brings up suicide and relating thoughts because no one is comfortable doing so. People don't often openly talk about harming themselves as it's just a taboo subject altogether. Which is why so many lives are altered or lost by the avoidance and/or minimization of the topic. 

Tom wasn't one to talk about his emotions in the first place; raised to be a 'real man' and deal with his problems. So there's no chance he'd willingly try and seek help for derailing thoughts of self harm and suicide. Besides, what good would it do? Surely it'd only drive those he actually cared about away. No one wants to be associated with a debbie-downer. Especially not his friends.

Especially not Tord.

But not that he cared what Tord thought, it was more the fear of having it mocked and thrown in his face to further tear him down. Tord was good at that.

So as any other person would, Tom kept a journal. A diary perhaps. Filled with passing thoughts he'd have, both positive and negative--mostly negative. Whether it was talking about the weather that day or wanting to jump off a cliff, all was written not so neatly down inside. 

Tom didn't care to hide it very well, only storing it under a singular book on his desk. No one cared to come into his room anyway. It blended in somewhat too so he wasn't worried about anyone stumbling across it. 

Speaking of stumbling! The drunk was drunk... As was an often occurrence. And being drunk, Tom stumbled his way from the kitchen back into his room while it was the middle of the night. He had decided to grab a drink after a long 15 minutes of silently crying in his room as he drove a blade into his skin. Tom was beyond stressed and had had one of the worst days in a while. 

He broke Edd's trust again. Caught in a lie and scolded relentlessly for it. What did Tom lie about? I'm not sure because I couldn't think of one. But it must've been pretty bad. [I'm sorry].

Tom continued to trip over his own feet getting to his window and pushed it open. Standing with his hands gripped tightly at the sill, knuckles white and tears falling onto them--he let the gentle winds blow through his messy hair and steady his breathing. His grip loosened and his tears halted but his heartbeat stayed strong, pounding in his ears and throughout his head. So he slung a leg over the open window and crawled onto the roof of the house. He's done this a few times so don't worry, he's not going to fall. At least not on accident if he had anything to do with it. 

Having taken his seat and lied down, closing his eyes while desperately trying to keep himself from sliding; another person just happened to be outside to witness this seemingly odd behavior. 

Tord took another long drag before pulling the cigarette from his lips, staring with furrowed brows as he watched Tom awkwardly lay on the roof. As if his night couldn't get any more confusing. He dropped his cig and stomped it out quickly before retreating back into the house through the sliding door in the kitchen. Where he had previously seen Tom crying while digging in the fridge for his vodka, right before he went out to smoke. Keeping himself hidden of course; he didn't want to deal with an emotional Tom. But now Tord wanted to know what was going on. Did he take to the roof often? Sounded cool to him honestly, sitting on the roof. So he decided he'd join him.