TordTom OneShots

Agoraphobia

It's been months since Tom had left the house, days since he's left his room. Not a place outside felt safe for him, fearing anything and everything. The pressure and stress built up more and more as his friends worried for his well being. Edd delivered food to him when Tom felt safe enough to open the door, Matt tried to talk to him through the door and fill him in on any events around the house or outside, and Tord mostly kept to himself. Every once in a while when Edd and Matt got extremely worried, Tord would go knocking on Tom's door, challenging him and teasing him. There were times where Tord was successful at getting Tom to at least open the door, other times Tom would only curse back at him.

▶▶

I haven't felt like such a pathetic bitch as I do right now. It's been just over 6 months now, 6 isolated months of pure fear. I don't have the words to describe why or how it came to this. There's nothing physically holding me back. It baffles me.

"Tom," A soft voice spoke through my door, "Matt and I are gonna stop by the grocery store. Do you need anything?" Edd asked. 

"No, I'm alright." I replied, quietly. I faintly heard him walking away, speaking with someone else; I assumed was Matt. He hadn't mentioned Tord going with, but I hoped he would leave as well.

At times when they're out of the house, I'd take that chance to take a shower. I'd never want them to see me as disheveled as I was. It's beyond embarrassing and shameful.
It was silent, peaceful. I had assumed that Tord had actually gone with them. My door creaked slightly as I pushed my way through the hall, heading straight into the bathroom. The water warmed up quickly as I turned the shower head on. I took no second longer to hop into the warmth and bathe myself for the first time in a week. 

Getting out of the shower was painful, I would've stayed there all day if I could. My hair hung down in front of my face as I stood in front of the mirror. I pushed my hair back and stared at myself. A mess of a man. I looked like shit.

I turned the bathroom light off and walked to the kitchen to grab a quick drink. My eyes scanned the fridge but I couldn't focus my gaze. Everything was blurry, my eyes heavy, exhausted. Rubbing my eyes, I made another attempt to focus. 

The sliding door opened, to the side of the kitchen. It startled me and I tripped backwards slightly. Tord stood there, almost just as startled as I was. 

"Holy shit.. Careful." He said, quickly taking his place next to me. I regained my balance and turned my gaze way from him. I didn't have the words, what was I supposed to say? "I haven't seen you come out in quite some time." Tord spoke again. 

"Yeah...." is all I could muster up. It was a pathetic attempt at speaking, I sounded so small and helpless. I hated it. 

Tord bent down slightly to look directly into my eyes, a sense of comfort in those gray orbs. They looked sad, concerned, but protective. "Are you okay?" He asked. His eyes were piercing into my heart, weirdly enough. Those words have been asked over and over, from all three of them. Seeing him look at me while asking this though, it hit different. 

Tears pricked my eyes, "I don't know," I whispered, "I don't know.." I shook my head and looked down. 

He stood there, not knowing what to do; I don't blame him. I cried and mumbled to myself. The feeling of awkwardness filled the air and it only made me feel worse. That was until he put a hand on my back, pulling me into his chest gently. It wasn't forced, I could tell he was hesitant and gave me the option to object. But I didn't. I didn't want to move.

Tord and I sat on the steps outside, in front of the sliding door. Breathing the fresh air was a relief but it scared the living hell out of me at the same time. Being outside was overwhelming at best, deathly at worst. 

My head rested on Tord's shoulder, clinging to his right arm. He had reassured me that I would be okay, that nothing can hurt me as long as he was there. I didn't believe him fully at first but there was a sense of security that convinced me. 

"Tord," I started, leaning into him more, "could you stay with me tonight?" It was beyond terrifying to ask such a thing. I probably sounded like a whiney baby, gross.
He sighed with a smile, "of course.."

✧I'm not dead! What a surprise! I actually moved back to Romania to stay closer to family once my great grandmother died. It was a few weeks where I had to stay with my sister but I found my own place and I got wifi! It still feels very weird to be back since I was in the USA for about 5 years, so I may still be slow with updates.✧

✧Anyway! Here's a really really short one, inspired by a friend of mine who happens to have been through something similar. They were very helpful with the internal feelings and descriptions of the struggle. Thank you L✧

✧More one shots coming soon; ones that are much more 'romantic' and 'ship-y'✧