My other side

9

Me and Wiliam talk for a little, until he have to leave, because the sun has already set.

I go into the house and lay down to try and sleep. I haven't properly slept since Leo's death. That was a long time ago. I close my eyes and try to think of good things. Like the sunrise, the beautiful sunset, the cool summer evening when all the work is done and I'm just sitting under a tree...

I'm standing in the middle of a field surrounded with beautiful flowers. I smile and lean down to pick some up. As I'm about to do that, I hear laughter. It's Wiliam with that boy from earlier. I go up to them, but I'm not moving. I'm running in place as if something was holding me. They start to walk away. I try to yell at them to come here, but I have no voice.

The scene changes and I'm under the tree, at the place where I always sit. Wiliam's sitting next to me. I ask him about what happened earlier on the field.

,,We walked away, so that your surprise won't be ruined. I decided to not marry that girl. I'll marry you instead."

It's my wedding day. To Wiliam. The guests are standing all around me as I'm walking down the aisle. Wiliam is standing in front of me and I know that this is why all of my suffering happened. I didn't want to marry Wiliam, but the thought of him never leaving me and me living in that house was better than all of my doubts about everything else. I was just simply happy. This was my destiny. As I was about to lock eyes with my future husband, I loud voice yelled ,,Wake up!"

My eyes shoot open and I am a little confused at first, but then I realize. It was all just a dream. Stupid, stupid me. I start to cry. Because what else could I do? How can I make these dreams stop? This makes no sense.

,,Just leave. Please." I whisper. Maybe this thing would listen and just let me live my life again.

I sit up and lean against the wall. I breath in heavily, trying to get rid of all the feelings I have because of the dream.

After a little while I calm down and lay down on the floor again.

,,Leave. And never come back." I smile and turn on my side, so that I'm facing the spot where Leo would sleep ,,You were right. I am strong enough."

I don't sleep the rest of the night, but it doesn't matter. I was finally calm and don't think about any of the things I used to think about. I wait until the sun rises and then go out to do the usual things. I have no idea if I should bring the other family's horses out of the stable, but I bring them out and give them their own food and water, just to be sure.

As I'm carrying the last bucket of water for a while, I look at my expression in the water. I look terrible. My hair is dirty and I have dark circles under my eyes. By the way, my eyes? They're as red as if I cried through multiple hours. I did cry, but not this much.

I quit looking at myself and carry the last bucket to the last horse.

When I walk out, the family's servant talks to me.

,,The Torman family is leaving in half an hour. Make sure their horses are ready."

,,Alright."

I harness their horses and tie them to their carriage that is already there. This will be an amazing opportunity to look at them.

First, the parents come out. There is nothing unusual about them. They have light hair, don't see their eye color, and are carrying themselves with the same pride as Vincent and Amanda. Then the boy I saw with Wiliam and his sister. She isn't ugly. She isn't as pretty as Amanda, for example, but she is pretty. Every girl is pretty if she carries herself with this type of confidence and wears these beautiful clothes.

The Gortham family comes out to say goodbye to them. William and his future wife hug, then the family gets into the carriage and leaves. William and Arthur go inside. Vincent says something to Amanda, then she also goes inside.

Vincent begins walking towards me. He reaches me and pulls my hair. I try to not make a single sound and just let him speak.

,,Who do you think you are, stable girl? Just sneaking around with my son, when you know his future bride and her family are here? You're ruining our entire family and you have to know that."

,,I'm sorry, my lord." I tried to say through the pain. He lets go of my hair and I drop down on my knees.

,,This was the last straw."

I should be terrified. Maybe hopeless, begging him to give me another chance, that I'll never even look at Wiliam. But instead, some kind of bravery comes over me.

,,I'm sorry, my lord, but it's not up to me to decide."

I am looking at the ground, but I still feel his gaze on me.

,,What did you say?"

,,It's not up to me to decide. I'm not going inside to meet your son. He's coming out here to meet me. I'm not begging him to come here. If you don't want us to meet each other, you should solve that with him, not me." But also I look into his eyes ,,you shouldn't dictate how your son lives his life. He's not refusing to marry the girl you got him. He's not causing any trouble or planning to escape. It's just you and your wife who are making all of this a big deal." I stand up, still looking into his gray eyes ,,And if I was you, I wouldn't kick myself out of here. I would be careful, because one day, we might just switch places."

I stand there, still looking at him. His face is red with anger, but I don't actually know what he's about to do.

He slaps me. It's so strong that I fall down and when I'm there, he also manages to kick my side.

,,I won't kick you out. You deserve a worse punishment. To really see who you can be greatful to for your life."

I grip my side where he kicked me tightly. I can't think straight from the pain. Nearby, there's a rock. I grab the rock and all I want to do at the moment is to break his head with it. I have a hard time standing up with the heavy rock in one of my hands that I'm hiding from him.

,,Calm down! Zsofia, stop! Can you hear me?!" it's Leo. He starts to speak to me in the worst moments ,,Work hard and be kind! Do you remember?"

I drop the rock and try not to show any of the emotions on my face. I realise Vincent was telling me something that I couldn't hear. He finally finishes it and then he leaves. Amazing. I have no idea what could be worse than death. I'll see.

,,Why did you do this, Leo? I was so close."

,,Leave Zsofia alone. Zsofia, this isn't you."

,,It's me! I'm Zsofia and I'm done with the Gortham family, with being kind, knowing my place and your dumb advice! I'm destined for more than you! All you did was that you were afraid. That's why you wasted your whole life here!"

Leo doesn't speak when I tell him the truth. As usual.

,,So you're afraid now, or something? Because I finally told you the truth? You should've stayed dead!"

I drop down to my knees. What have I done? Tears roll down my cheeks as I think about what would Leo think if he was here.

,,I'm sorry, Leo." I whisper.