If Only (Kakashi X Oc) - Part 1

Break

Kakashi's house - 4th April year 3

I was laying on kakashi's bed while waiting for him to get ready. We planned to go out and spend some time together since we couldn't meet with him being on missions and all. With the war fast approaching, chunins and jonins were mostly sent outside of Konoha for missions while Genins had to do all the missions within Konoha borders. I was always busy with the Anbu training and let me tell you it's hard. I choose to get a room there cause sometimes I'll be too injured to return to my apartment after the spars. But the good thing is that my skills have increased; like a lot and with my body being more grown, my taijutsu had the most improvement.

I have trained with most of the teams now and we're all used to each other. I became friends with Hebi, Kitsune and Kumo - the 3 I fought at the start - they all treat me like an equal not like some kids. I thought it would have been harder but I guess the older Anbu generation are more open minded. The 3 were pretty funny; they were in their early twenties and have been Anbus for about 5 years now. They all had their quirks and were crazy in some way; well... The more powerful the person the more they tend to be weird.

I have been on 2 easy spy and message delivery mission and had my first kill on the last mission. My squad was attacked on the way back from Sunagakure and I knew. I knew the shinobi world was a kill or be kill world; I thought I was mentally prepared but.... Reality hit me hard. I still remember; the way my blade pierced the enemy's body; the sound and the blood that splattered. The smell and my sword stuck between his ribs. How hot his blood felt on my hands like it was burning me and the look. The look in his eyes that still haunts me every time I close my eyes.

I think that's why I got this day off from the Hokage after my psychological test. I felt like I was on automatic response after this. This whole week I went home and couldn't sleep or if I did I would immediately wake up from nightmares. I understand why Kakashi always had those panic attacks in the anime now.

I no longer wear my hoodie up since, I am wearing a mask like Kakashi. I asked him before how he'd feel if I wear one. Can't let him think I'm copying or fangirling on him. Even though I am. He said it was fine and even offered me one of his!!! I think I never felt happier! TO THINK THIS PIECE OF CLOTH TOUCH HIS MOUTH!!!! I CAN'T POSSIBLY WEAR IT!! BUUUUTTT I WANT TOOO~~ After having an internal fight I wore it.

I used a Henge to look like my clone, Miku who goes to the academy. I can't look like a 10-year old when I'm barely 5. I used a seal along with the Henge so that it won't appear any different in anyone's eyes. My hair slowly had more white strands. By end of year I'm going to let Miku graduate so that she can be with Kakashi more often.

Anyway, Kakashi and me were going to Ichiraku's ramen and afterwards we went to the forest where we used to train and had a friendly spar. I held back and let him win cause he is genin now but it was a close call. He then told me about his bell test and Minato who's "super strong"; his exact words. We had small talks about his missions, how Obito's always late, Obito's obsession with being Hokage and everything that happened within his life.

We then went to the hill; along the way we noticed Obito who is still following Rin like a lost puppy. Kakashi sighed looking at the 2; at least he isn't clueless to Obito's feeling. I decided to have some fun with Obito and put him in a small genjutsu where everyone he saw was Rin. I think he had an overdose of Rin cause he fainted. Me and Kakashi laughed so much but really he looked kinda pitiful like that.

Next we met with Gai who was doing push up at the playground. "Oh my Eternal Rival~ have you come for a rematch! We are currently in a tie!",he said to Kakashi in his hyperactive self. I tuned him out while Kakashi looked like he wanted to die on the spot. We were about to leave when he latched on Kakashi's foot like those 3 year old for a match. It was really funny looking at them. Even if Gai is kinda weird he's my second favorite character. He always manages to make me laugh. After kakashi promised him to do a match in whatever he wanted next week, he finally let go.