If Only (Kakashi X Oc) - Part 1

Grief

One month later

This past month Kakashi has been stuck to me like glue. He is staying with me and at least he let go of my hand whenever we were inside and was showering alone. Thank god cause I don't think I would have been able to do that again.

The funeral went by without a hitch, it was a private one with only Kakashi's close friends and some other people who respected White Fang. It was different from the anime where Kakashi was the only one at the grave. I was glad I at least changed something. Hopefully, he'll realized his friends are here with him. I stayed by his side throughout the whole ceremony, holding hands. Each of his friends came by to hug him telling him sorry and all. Minato and Kushina, Shikaku and the Hokage were present as well. They realised that Kakashi was hiding his emotions but was hurting inside maybe cause they went through many funerals. But his friends at least didn't notice and I think Kakashi was really glad for this. We gave him his last flowers before being buried and I shed my last tears for Sakumo.

Later on before leaving Minato told Kakashi to take the time he needed to get back on his feet and that the Hokage agreed. Kakashi merely nodded and Minato smiled sadly at him. He hug him and gave me one last glance.

This past month, I sent a blood clone to Anbu's quarters for the trainings and missions and another to keep everything clean and tidy in Kakashi's house. I placed a space-time seal on Kakashi's food so that it's still good when he decides to return.

One week after the funeral, we were called by Hokage who gave Kakashi the suicide note his father's left and discussed some private matters regarding the Hatake clan. He wasn't aware that Sakumo left another letter for Kakashi and he didn't tell him anything.

Currently, I was trying to get Kakashi to speak; He hasn't spoken since the funeral besides making sound when crying. He would only leave the house to train and I chose to accompany him because the first time he left he literally trained until he fainted from chakra exhaustion in the forest and my spy clone had to catch him.

We would spar from sunrise to sunset. He would keep on fighting unless I completely knock him out. At least I am stronger than him. Whenever his chakra reached halfway, I would knock him out easily. But when he regained consciousness, he would attack even harder. The spars were far from friendly! He was attacking me with his undeveloped K.I fully released. I had to place some concealing seals all around where we trained to not alert the other shinobi passing-by or he would be in trouble.

He sometimes did get me cause unlike him I was rarely attacking and mostly blocking the hits when it couldn't be avoided. And let me tell you he hits hard! I knew his judgement was clouded; his eyes looked so dead.

And as much as I had the system and medical jutsu, my body couldn't heal up properly with more scars being added everyday. The same as Kakashi who looked even worse than me since he wouldn't eat unless he really needed to - when his body wouldn't move due to lack of food. It's only thanks to chakra that he can even move to spar everyday. Another issue which I couldn't deal with right now. Really Sakumo-san WHY T_T

Two weeks later

While he was asleep, I left a clone next to him and visited the Namikaze's household. I needed some adult's help. As much as it pains me, emotions are really not my forte and this is getting out of hand. I could have really been badly hurt yesterday if I didn't used my sharingan on him. My clone sent on an Anbu mission was killed and I received all his memories and wounds while I was sparing and the freaking Kakashi tricked me during this small time lapse and nearly pierced me with his chidori. When did he even create that and more importantly, where did he get the chakra! The good thing is that I always sent 2 blood clones when I had a mission so the other quickly finished the mission. The intelligent stats is not just for show!