The mad-cap adventure and fairy tale, film story of a quixotic, middle-aged woman who won't give up on her dream and ends up in every scrape imaginable.
(Dedicated to the love of my life and the best thing that ever happened to me; Jesus Christ.)
My fairy tale film story
I landed my first serious method acting role in 1986, at the ripe old age of six. I played the indispensable role of Bethlehem star in our kindergartner's nativity play. The sheer thrill I felt as the audience applauded. What a rush. It was written in the stars.
Since I can remember I loved the movies. As a whippersnapper it was Walt Disney's "The Little Mermaid" and "Sleeping Beauty" and as a more mature "tween", "Hook" and "The Goonies".
At first us youngsters put on theatricals for our long-suffering parents, neighbours and any unlucky bystanders who happened to pass by. However, hard-earned experience taught me to make more weighty career choices and I moved from Theatre to Film. We did independent films, home-made movies on video cassette, my brothers, their friends and I.
My big brother was the director. The role of the damsel in distress fell on my eager beaver shoulders. My brothers invented state-of-the-art technology for their movies. They used a never-ending sheet of computer, printout paper which they moved off-camera for the opening credits. A radio played in the background for mood music. There was no script. This maestro loved improv. Our Costume, Make-up and Sound departments were highly advanced; a black bag full of old play-clothes, ketchup instead of blood and crew noises to recreate gunshots.
My love of Film grew. After Art school I went to College. Entertainment Technology (Theatre Crafts) was dispiriting because I wanted to work in Film, not Theatre, and in front of the cameras, not behind.
Method Acting was life-altering. I developed strong voice projection, especially at family "braais" (barbecues) when I asked my siblings to pass the salt and they asked me to pipe it down. With my new life skills I could also deftly call in the dogs from far away.
Then I entered that magical world of work; sales, admin and computers. The stuff dreams are made of. I worked as a nanny for five years. A quintessential "Mary Poppins", just a grungier, 1990s version. I made sure "my" boys were educated in what matters most in this life: i.e. Arts and Entertainment. Those boys got the best movies for their birthdays and Christmases. I'm proud of their DVD collection to this day.
Those who can, do, and those who can't, travel to Thailand and teach, so I traveled a bit and taught English to foreign students. I quickly realized the only way to capture the dwindling attention span and waning interest of a Millennial was through movie magic. Those Method Acting classes came in quite handy. I became known as "The Rapping Teacher" (back home in South Africa) to a certain group of students who shall remain nameless.
I could go on and on about the thread, or should I say "motif", of Film that runs throughout the tapestry of my life but that's cliché and I just vomited in my mouth a little, so I won't. All in all every experience has prepared and propelled me to this moment. Film and Method Acing School here I come. Finally! It's about bloody time.
Disclaimer: Embarrassing fact; I'm 44 years young and my family think I'm going through a midlife-crisis. Don't ask. Since we mentioned platitudes; how about "late bloomer" or rather "flat broke" or my personal favourite "the proverbial penniless artist" to name but a few? Take your pick.
Corny but true
The Patch Adams of Film
Yvette van Os,
Also known as "She Who Won't Grow Up", "She Who Lives In A Dream World" and the best one by far "She Who Still Lives With Her Mother", by her fan club.
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