To Astrid, With Love

12

Chapter 12

Astrid

2006, January

"How did you know about this place?" I looked at Matt as I sat down on the wooden floor.

"I would come here if I felt really sad or angry. Just my way of coping with things. When dad would beat me up, I would run away." He said, sitting beside me.

"Your dad beat you up??" I asked in the state of shock. I could never imagine dad laying a hand on me or my mother. That is why my heart sank at the thought of his dad beating him up, his sister or even his mother.

He nodded and sighed, "He would, when he arrived home very drunk." He looked very sad talking about it. I tried not to ask more questions about it because the memories might trigger him.

He was silent for the next few seconds before he continued talking.

"He was a great dad. The all-mighty one that any kid in school would want to have. He was righteous, donated to charities and whatever. He loved mom, he really did." He paused again.

I shook my head, "You don't have to talk about it, Matt."

It was as if he didn't hear me when he continued talking, "But there were really times when the love in his eyes would disappear. It was as if he was channeling a whole different person every time he came home drunk." He swallowed.

"He became unrecognizable."

"We almost did not know the person who we saw those days. He would lay a hand on my mom, beat her up and trash the whole house. Then., he wakes up the next day expecting a peaceful home, expecting breakfast on the table."

I fixated my gaze on him as I tried to picture Matt as a child, scared for life.

"My mom just decided to let it go after it happens. She chose to go on without saying a word about it. Looked like my dad also did...since it benefited him the most anyway," Matt shrugged, swallowing in between tenses.

I waited for him to continue but it looked like he didn't have anything to say anymore.

"I'm sort that had to happen to you and your family..." I bit my lip.

Matt let out a small chuckle, "Nah, we're fine now."

"Shit happens." He continued.

"Yeah, shit that none of you deserve. Or anyone in this world." I frowned and shook my head. I looked at him and he pressed his lips into a thin line before breathing out.

"Just wanted to let you know that no family is perfect. Not that I'm justifying what your dad did, but if it appeased you a bit better, I just wanted to tell you my story." He explained.

"I don't think anything can justify cheating. It's the worst you can do to the people you love." I heaved in a deep breath, my eyes growing heavier by the minute.

"Yeah.." he agreed.

"I mean, imagine marrying someone you love so much. You promise to build a beautiful family with them. Go through the rest of your life's ups and downs. Then, waking up one day just to destroy everything you've promised." I started, "Life is so full of promises, it's a challenge to keep them by heart every single day, and I hope I choose to keep my promises with someone someday,"

Matt was silent the whole time I was talking. I turned to him and he was staring into space.

"You think?" I nudged him.

He cleared his throat, "Yeah, it's a promise you're gonna want to fulfill everyday with someone..." he trailed off.

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