Who You Love

Fidelity

The night seems long as I stayed awake the whole of it after dropping her home that day. Looking out the window, I kept thinking about her thinking about me. You know what makes her stand out? She won't look at you while she talks to you, she keeps looking Everywhere but when she does look at you, her eyes, they never lie.. she can go through the most difficult thing but when you see her you won't get a notch of it, she wears the most basic dresses but looks the most effortless, you can realise from the way she talks that her heart is full of hurt but you'll always see her with a smile on her face. The first day I saw her, in Tate's house, the way she walked up to us.. I saw it slow motion. I kept looking at her in awe the whole time, there's something so magical about her. Tate's one stupid guy to have lost her. What am I saying, I'm the biggest fool here. And that's when it hit me..

What have I done! When did I become this animal! I need to apologise to her immediately.

- I know you won't pick up my calls so I'm just gonna text you here. Just give me a chance to explain, to apologise. the things Tate me do, things I did to you, there are no excuses for it. I've always been a spoiled bad guy busy doing bad things. You're not like that Marina, you didn't deserve it.. I'm so sorry for everything, I hope you can forgive me if you find it in your heart..

* text from Josh *
I'm sure he is planning something else now, I'm not going to fall for it, never again. But.. he did seem like he was regretting..
- I really took you for a great friend, I shared things with you, things I didn't say to my friends of 4 years even.. I was really grateful for the support you gave me at that time. For you to turn out like this, it made me go through some of the hardest phases in life, harder than when I found out about Tate's truth.
Oof, I feel better and relaxed also I think. I needed closure. I don't know why I'm more angry at Tate and I'm at Josh maybe because I expected more from Tate and Josh being the bad guy for me always, I just didn't think of him from any angle. I can't believe Tate is so fucking shrewd! I went from loving him deeply to hating him with every organ in my body!

* text from Marina *
I jumped from my bed seeing this notification!
(Sees the text) Fuck man! I really fucked up.. Tate you fucker! "What Josh why you callin me? I'm with Rysa don't disturb." "Fuck you and your skanky chicks! Don't fucking talk to me ever again and if I see you harassing Marina, I swear to go I'll do things you never imagine!" I need to apologise to her and make it right.

- I know I can't change it but I can always change myself. In fact I can already feel it, you've seen me before Marina and you're seeing me now. All I cared about was drugs, alcohol and girls. But now, I seem to have one true friend whom I care about, who inspires me to be better and whom I've lost with my stupidity. Please don't leave me..

Josh and I texted for quite some time that day, well hours actually.. he kept saying sorry in different ways and even though it was hard for  me to trust again but a small part of me wanted to do it anyway..

For the next few days we talked and talked and it was surprising to me because with Tate I never knew the right thing to say but with Josh, its so easy, he gives me so much time throughout the day and we talk about the most random shits! One minute I'm sad and upset over the whole thing and then next we're cussing each other, cracking lame jokes! I was ready for forgive him but he wanted to meet again. I couldn't move on from that incident so I said no. I can see now how Tate can manipulate people into doing what they shouldn't do absolutely. Josh and I both were under his spell, fortunately that broke. Meanwhile, Ari is sure Tate and I aren't in talking terms as I've been ditching all the outings with him or his family, but Ari doesn't know about Josh yet and I can't say it to her. As much as I love her and she loves me, she is adamant to her opinions and doesn't let me have one so I've been keeping it a secret.

Huh so thats how it feels when you fall for the right one. waking up with a smile, spending the whole day waiting for her to text back (yeah she hasn't agreed on calls yet, I mean I don't blame her ). "What's up with you Josh nowadays? You seem different." " that's because I feel different mom." "Oohhh is it about a girlll???" "Yes it is but she's different. You don't get to see girls like here that much." "Is my little boy in love?!" "Come on mommm!!" I blushed away, I was in love.. truly, madly and deeply. In fact, I should tell her before its too late.

- Marina, I need to speak to you, it's important and I would rather do it over call. Please for once pick it up, you don't have to talk back, you can just listen.
- okay, call me now.
"Marina, it sucks big time that I won't get to hear your voice when I'm about to say the biggest and most important thing in my life. The thing that I'm going to say to you, I've said it before, million times but I didn't mean it once. What makes it different this time is you.. I love you Marina, I really do, so much. Seeing you hurting because of me, opened some of the deepest corners of my heart. You made me a new person, a good one, all within just a few days. If you feel the same then please meet me baby girl.
*call cuts*

When Josh confessed his feelings for me yesterday, I wasn't surprised.. I saw it coming honestly because there ain't no way a guy like Josh would mend his ways if it hadn't a girl involved. I didn't give an answer right away, but I decided to say yes.. everyone knows we're dating so we might do it for real now, Tate's already dating the girl he cheated on me for and Josh seems to click with me.. maybe he'll help me move on as well.

But what about love? Who knows, maybe I'll fall for him too at a point.

🥎 WRITER'S NOTE - PLEASE LIKE, SHARE AND COMMENT. LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED IT OR NOT! And I've chosen the songs for each chapter very thoughtfully, check them out too! 🥎