The Christmas Party

All Of You

It was New Years Eve and I had no plans.

Yesterday, before Taehyung left and we'd exhausted our conversation about my failed relationship with Jennie, he tried to convince me to go to a party with him tonight. I refused. He changed tactics and offered an evening at Dara's. I refused again. I told him I wasn't in the mood. I especially didn't want to be surrounded by kissing couples at midnight and be reminded of my failed love life.

I was also sure I would suck any happiness out of any party I attended with my damper presence.

Before Taehyung left, I'd also begged him not to talk to Jennie, to just let things be. He looked at me, begging me with his eyes to let him try to help, to fix it. I told him no. It wasn't his mess to fix; I didn't want him in the middle of whatever this was. I also had to admit that I loved Jennie so much that if she didn't want anything to do with me that I had to be okay with that, however long it took. I had to be okay with whatever she wanted.

Taehyung tried to argue with me, tried to tell me that Jennie didn't know what she wanted, that she wasn't thinking clearly, that this fear that consumed her was what ended things with me, not Jennie.

I told him it didn't matter. I told him to leave it be. With a sigh of defeat, he agreed and left my apartment sometime around midnight.

I didn't sleep.

I still hadn't heard from Jennie and I told myself that I had to just accept whatever this was and move on. Taehyung, however, was insistent and wouldn't stop harassing me, convinced he could somehow to get me to leave my house.

Taehyung: Please come over.

Me: No.

Taehyung: Please I don't want to spend New Years alone.

Me: You won't. You have parties to go to.

Taehyung: I don't want to go without you. I bought a ton of stuff for us to have a party here, just the two of us. Jennie won't be here, she has a work thing.

Me: You come over here.

Taehyung: No offense but your apartment is a depressing mess. You need to leave your apartment and get out. Come over. Everything set up. I have champagne and cookies. Your favorite.

Me: Taehyung, no. I don't think Jennie will appreciate we being there.

Taehyung: She won't be home!

Me: She has to come home eventually right?

Taehyung: Fine then leave at 12:01. She'll be at the work thing until at least then then she'll have to drive back. You won't even see her.

Me: Just come over here.

Taehyung: Jennie is taking the car.

Me: Then I'll come get you.

Then Taehyung called me and I groaned when I answered.

"Please come over."

"No."

"Please, Jis."

"Why is it so important to you that I come over?"

"Because I care about you and you need to get out of your apartment."

We went back and forth like that for a while, but eventually Taehyung won. I showered and dressed in comfortable leggings and sweatshirts; I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I looked at myself in the mirror and contemplated throwing on makeup because I still looked like absolute shit, but decided against it; it was just Taehyung. He already knew I looked like I wanted to die.