"Just turn around and walk away, sweetheart. I'll be nice and pretend I didn't see you, just for today"
With amusement in her tone, Mars gives Amaya a wink. Still, it does not feel overly flirtatious or amusing in any way. Instead, it is almost thre...
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Saturday, late-November
Can we talk?...
Mars stares at the message on her phone. She feels like a litte middle-schooler, all over again. Can't decide whether she should send it already, or not. She doesn't know if it's... worth it? If she should really do this at all? Maybe Amaya has already gotten over her, and doesn't want to talk anymore. Then she'd just be risking her future for absolutely no reason and end up heartbroken anyway. Mars sucks in a deep breath of air, leaning against the wet and old mop as water drops from the ceiling. She's such a coward.
"Mars? Get back to work, would'ya?"
Mars glances her head back, and waves dismissively to the old man who owns this place. She hasn't been on talking terms with her boss, not since he stopped paying her in full. But she's still working here, every weekend and some days too, just to try and make ends meet. The boss has gotten crankier, with the date of demolition hanging over his shoulder like a dark shadow. Mars doesn't care. He owns this building. He'll get compensation. He should have nothing to worry about. Withher hands moving quickly, she deletes the message and closes her phone, going back to mopping the dirty stone floors of the old man's basement public gym.
The mop drags over the floors and draws a long wet line. Mars feels dizzy. She's still a little drunk from last night, but a headache is creeping up on her. Keoni's words from last night echo like a broken recorder in her brain. Part of it feels like it's all a dream, all in her head. But Keoni dragged her home last night and made sure to leave a glass of water by the bedside table. He even put her alarm on in time for her Saturday shift at the gym, so it's obvious that the conversation was very real, and frankly, very life-changing. She didn't even know someone like Keoni could say such impactful words, and yet here she is.
Mopping the floors of the old man's basement, public gym, while thinking about Amaya and what to do with the whole situation.
A part of her is still hesitant about letting her own heart run free like a carefree child, but another part of her is willing to welcome the idea of carelessness with open arms. For the first time in her life, she's actually considering doing something for herself. Just for herself. To date someone she wants to date, love someone she wants to love, and say fuck to those who want to keep her in the mud. It's terrifying, though. And that's why she's thinking of not doing it.
It would be so much easier to just sink back into her usual routines of fear, and keep pretending that if she just works hard enough, she'll get exactly what she wants, no matter her low status or empty bank account. But Keoni's words from last night won't stop screaming at her in the back of her head. It doesn't matter how hard you work, Mars. It has never mattered to those who make the decisions that actually matter. Connections will always matter more, and so will money. Mars wishes she could push Keoni out of her head. But she can't. And now she's on a cliff's edge, waiting for her own decision, or perhaps waiting for herself to finally grow a pair.
