In the end, it doesn't matter.
Rationality, sanity, insanity, frame of mind, none of it matters.
Because why do humans think? Why at all? Why do only humans get that kind of power? Because it's not a blessing.
Not at all.
It destroys you.
Inside, out.
It destroys you, it makes people leech on you, makes all that negativity seep in, pulls you down, puts you in danger, and puts you in the deepest, blackest pits of hatred and love and sorrow and disappointment.
You are NOT EVER happy.
Because there is nothing to ever be truly happy, there is always something pulling you down.
Whatever you do, it's you.
Well, it's your fucking thoughts, isn't it?
It's all our fault.
So I only did this world a favor. I only let humans be humans. Without the thing that brings them down.
Without the poison of thoughts.
Is that such a bad thing?
What is normal, really?
I am normal. Why do they call me insane? because what the FUCK is wrong with writing in two different diaries? Giving yourself another personality to escape from the one everyone chides.
What is normal? Living a stable life? Nice job? Cute little family? Kids? Parents? Good grades? Friendships? Siblings?
Oh, who are you kidding? They do nothing!
Still, you're disappointed. Still, you hate them, still, you hate yourself, still, you hate the world, still, you want more from the world.
Thoughts are such a blasted curse for lack of a better word.
Humans don't need thoughts! They are anchors pulling you down.
Now, I read my other diary, a part of me that was forced into behaving like one of them, forced into thinking it's all horrifying when what I did was good, nice, solid, SANE.
I defeated that other part of me. Ended it. I won the fight, I fought and fought and this is ME.
And now there's no one to tell me otherwise, to make me hate myself, to make me HURT myself, to MAKE ME.
Because I made ME.
And now, I sure wish I didn't, that I didn't need to have thoughts, but we all do.
We are stronger than animals, and smarter.
But there is one catch.
And that's YOU and the people around YOU. It's the only catch.
So I took it away.
And now I am going to take myself away.
It's nice to have no one to cling to you.
It's the thing that makes humans so incredibly weak.
Themselves.
That blade looks good, for both the savior side of me and the REAL me.
I don't want to fight this fight. I don't want to good or bad.
Because the good me, wanted it all to end, wanted people to bash each other and go back to murdering each other, go back to being jealous of each other, go back to bringing one down.
What the preconceived bad (the real) me wanted was to really make people united.
Without their fucking emotions.
And to finally end this blasted race of humanity.
I played God.
And now I have to sacrifice myself.
THIS IS MY PURPOSE.
This was the purpose of ALL OF US! We were created by whatever the fuck created us, to BEST OURSELVES. To find that we are the bad. We are the dead. We are the sinners and the saints. We are IT. We are the cruelty, our purpose was to know that, and end that. End us, end humanity. That was the purpose of each of us.
None of you all thickheads knew that did you? But I did. So I did us ALL a favour.
It took so many years of my life, this.
But it's good.
Good to know that atleast I achieved my purpose. OUR purpose.
So...
That blade looks pretty sharp enough.
