I cannot believe I did this, I kissed him, I kissed Frank. Frank Iero. The issue is I barely know him, what if he is a serial killer? What if he just breaks my heart? How do I know he's the right one? I mean he did feel so perfect against me, I only stopped because I started to overthink, I wouldn't have mentioned his hand against my chest, under my shirt. I could feel the rough finger tips from years of playing guitar, and his soft palms, slightly sweaty. The way his lips felt against mine, his body pressed against me. I can keep replaying this memory over and over again, but the question is. What are we after this?
I'm sitting in the darkness of my room, my brain occupied with it all, I'm too scared to text him. I don't want a rejection but what if I do text him and he doesn't reject me? I always try to tell myself it's better to regret something you did then something you didn't do. I did take a leap with that kiss and it felt so right, so perfect. I need to speak to someone, anyone about this because the thoughts are eating away at me.
"Mikey will know" I mutter to myself, the thing with Mikey, he knows everything about me. I like to think we're close. I shuffle my way to Mikey's door and before I knock I hear him giggling, he's talking to Ray on the phone. I would want that with Frank, late night phone calls, giggling away, the whole world non existent to us. Late night walks, holding his hand... I feel myself going red just thinking about it all.
I knock on the door, and walk in. I know Mikey would say no or to give him a second, we take the silence as a yes.
"I'll call you back baby." And I can just imagine me calling Frank that, about how I would like him to be mine. I snap out of it.
"Hey, can we talk? About earlier?" I shuffle a little awkwardly but Mikey gives me a smile and a nod. I sit on his bed and sigh.
"Me and Frank... I don't know him well but I have a gut feeling he's the right one" I just spit it out, I speak to Mikey but never really spoke about a boy to him, especially one I have a huge crush on.
"I mean, if you feel it's right, you should speak to him. But do be careful Gee." He awkwardly smiles at me.
"I just want what you and Ray have, the late night calls. Going on dates. Holding hands. Watching movies." I can't think of anyone else I would like to experience this with, but Frank. I need to talk to him. Asap, I know if I stall I'll chicken out and if he decides to make a first move I'll friend zone him because of my overthinking.
