Autumn Burn

Chapter 13

Eris told me that we were in his room in the cottage house, where Lucien used to live with him. His other brothers preferred to live in the castle with his father. Eris' room was larger than my room in the river house in Velaris, but that was to be expected. What I didn't expect were this many books. Okay, well, that wasn't true. Books could be a pretty decoration, but all of the book spines were broken, meaning he had read them. The warmth came from the big fireplace and the dozens of candles standing around on basically every surface. But overall, the room had not much in it. Except for the fluffy dark red carpet on the floor, there was only this giant bed, in which I was laying currently. I stared at the fire cracking in its place, my lower body covered by one of the heavy blankets. My head rested on one of Eris' arm, his other one was snuck around my waist, drawing lazy circles on the skin of my stomach. I didn't know how long we'd been here, but it was already dark outside. I had no desire to go back to the Night Court. Not only did I not want to have an encounter with Nyx for ... a long time, I also didn't want to see Mor. She would never forgive me. I should be ashamed of myself, hooking up with the person she hated the most, but I just couldn't get myself to be ashamed for it. Because I liked it. I liked Eris. Which was probably very stupid of me, since he will for sure destroy me in the long run. But right then, I felt more comfortable here than at the Night Court. 

But one thing, I knew for certain, is that I just ruined my friendship with Mor. She would never forgive me. And suddenly, the consequences of my actions hit hard. She would hate me and she had every right to. I was her friend and I betrayed her in the worst way possible.

I hadn't even known I started crying until Eris' hand slowly stroked over my wet cheek.

„Do you regret it?" His voice was deep and emotionless.

„No." I said, my voice sounding as if I had a cold.

„But that makes it even worse." Eris stayed silent, only caressing my cheek.

„She will hate me forever. Even after I'm long dead, she will hate me." I didn't cry heavily, not like I did with my problems with Nyx. No, I was silent, not a sob leaving my lips, just silent tears rolling down my face.

„She can't hate you for this." Eris said, his lips moving against my temple.

„I am your mate, whether she likes it or not. It is natural for you to be drawn to me." I listened to him, because somehow his voice soothed me.

„If she judges you for going with your nature, she is not a good friend to you." I didn't answer that. I couldn't. So I changed the subject.

„Do you think I let you do this because of the mating bond?" I sniffed once and grabbed his arm, pulling it back to my waist and holding it there. It was a comfort to me and he instantly pulled me against him.

„Maybe," he answered, "But this is a question only you can answer." Of course he would say that. Because if it wasn't just the mating bond, it meant that I actually wanted  Eris more than I wanted to accept. I was never a girl to regret what I'd done with a guy, not even now. And thinking back at it, there was nothing there to regret. This had been the best sexual experience I had ever had. Not because my past lovers were bad, but Eris was about 500 years old and during this time he had practiced probably countless times, way more often than any of my past lovers even could do in their lifespan. It was no wonder that Eris knew exactly how he should read my body, that he knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't a boy that tried to make me come, he wasn't an inexperienced girl, having her first time with another girl. He was a High Fae male and he fucking knew what he was doing.

„Do you think I could stay the night?" The question was out before I could think about it and I mentally cursed myself. That would only make it worse when I would go back to Velaris.