By the Playbook

By the Playbook (11)

The funniest thing about it was that I had finally come to accept the fact that was my life was normal when it happened, the event that, as most big events do, split life into halves: Before and After.

Before, I had a full family. Me, my sister, and my parents. We were better off then most, and did not live like most with my parents' constant need to move around, yes, but that was as normal to me as staying in one house for most of their lives was to my friends. I had never wanted normal - I wanted extraordinary. However, I never really found my extraordinary until my After, and was finding it to be less and less magical the more I lived it.

In the After, I was contemplating this: It takes talent to cover dark circles, and I swear to God if Kasey didn't have it I wouldn't be going to school. I hadn't slept since my nightmare in fear of it returning - two days - and was feeling the effects of it now, slumped over my desk.

"Addie," Sam whispered, nudging me. "Wake up!"

"Sleeping in my class, are we?" Mr Shaitan raised his eyebrows at me as I opened my eyes halfway. I rolled them at him, then slumped back over my desk. "Yes, sir. Continue with the lesson, please."

The class laughed. He didn't. "Addison Diamond-"

"Alright," I sighed, slinging my bag over my shoulder and standing, exhausted beyond relief. "See you at lunch, Sam."

"Bye," she called as I strolled out of the classroom before Shaitan could kick me out. I could hear him shouting behind me, but chose to ignore it as I grabbed my phone and earbuds from the pocket of my shorts, making my way out of the school unnoticed.

Part of me wanted to see if Ryder was up to skipping and coming to hang out with me, but the other just wanted to sleep and/or die. I couldn't close my eyes without the nightmares flashing back, and the ones I loved being around either made them more vivid or fade away. With Ryder, I could be in his arms one second, perfectly calm, and in the next, be clinging to him for dear life in fear that if I didn't, he would be lost from me.

I knew it was starting to freak him out, and quite possibly annoy him, but I couldn't stop. And quite honestly, I didn't think I would ever be able to.

I walked down into the street, turned a corner, and kept going until I found what I was looking for. Once upon a time, one of the very first times I had ever come to Riverbrook with Emily and Oliver, he had taken us to a beach. That was all where I really wanted to be right now - toes in the water, plopped on the sand, reminiscing and trying my best to let go.

It had taken us half an hour to drive there. It didn't surprise me when by lunchtime hit, an hour later where I was still walking, Gold Rush blaring through my headphones and trying to soothe me, I had multiple texts from Ryder and Sam worrying where I was.

I sent one text to the both of them when I spotted the water, then turned on airplane mode.

Chill.

I kicked off my sandals, picked them up, then started walking again. When I found a patch of sand that seemed far enough from the road, I stopped and sat down, sighing as the water washed over my sore feet. As cute as my gladiator sandals were, they were never meant for walking long distances.

There was something I'd always found relaxing about the sound of the ocean. Perhaps it was because the earliest memories I had were of California waves next to me house, but I had always felt safe in the sea until the storm that took my family from me.

I watched the water lap over my toes, reaching into my bag with one hand. A long time ago, I'd began taking pictures to remember things. It started off with little things, like important days with my family or then-best friends, and eventually grew to what I did now, fighting to capture every precious moment that I could.