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⚠️ Trigger warning⚠️ mention of seizures. Slitting wrist. Heavy drug use. OD. Please don't read if any of that triggers you.
Savannah walked into her empty house and went straight to her room.
She was in pain. Anyone could see it if you paid attention. The problem was no one was paying attention. Sure the pogues could hear it in her voice, but they didn't see how bad it was affecting her.
She's calling out to them. Screaming out to them, but it like they couldn't hear her. She thought that maybe if she showed john b how much Sarah really bothers her. The pain she got from the bullying Sarah would do to her. He would choose his friend over his girlfriend. She was very wrong.
Savannah was pacing around her room trying to calm down. Telling herself she didn't need to react this way. Maybe john b was right she was being dramatic. Maybe she should get over herself.
She tried. On the boat she wanted to put john bs feeling first and wake Sarah up and talk about what she had done to her. But she couldn't. She knew that if she would've talked it out with her she wouldn't have forgave her. She would have just put herself through more than she needed to.
She wanted the pain to be gone. That all she wanted. She wanted to get rid the pain. So what did she do? She went to the bathroom and grabbed her razor and broke the blades out of it. What was doing? She didn't know, but maybe if she bled a little the pain would slowly disappear.
She took the blade and slid it across her arm. She watched her skin rip apart and blood rush down her arm. She did it again. And again. And she was right. The pain slowly started to disappear.
She continued to cut on both arms. She had grown numb to the feeling of the blade dragging across her skin. She had actually grown to kind of like it.
By the time night came around she had stopped and cleaned her arms, she had grown to love feeling so much. She tried stopping but she couldn't. She didn't feel like she belonged in the world anymore. She didn't want to be here. So she started on her upper thighs.
The thing is, she didn't know JJ was going to come by that night. If so, she would've locked her window.
JJ slid her window open, "sav we found it. We found the gold." He said laughing in excitement, but stopped when he saw her in the corner with a blade in her hand and blood on her legs.
"Sav, what are you doing?" He asked "nothing. It doesn't matter. Congratulations." She said whipping her blood on the towel she had.
"Is that blood? Are you hurting yourself?" JJ asked, tears gathering in his eyes.
"JJ just go." Savannah said "no, I'm not leaving so you can continue to do this to yourself. Why are you so pale?" JJ asked grabbing her face
"Talk to me, baby. Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked staring cry "JJ just go. Please." She said "savannah." JJ said "JJ just go." She begged
