Summer Rain

XIV~ Faking It

{Mirrors (cover) - Madilyn Bailey}

...'Cause I don't want to lose you now, I'm lookin' right at the other half of me, the vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold...

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June 20th

        His arms held me tightly as my body swayed close to his, silent in the gentle thrum of music as it played in the background. Everything was almost tangible, and it was almost too good to be true. A soft light coated the edges of my vision, and as breathed in unison, nothing else mattered.

    "I could stay like this forever." My voice felt so distant, almost a ghostly whisper. It was as though I hadn't even spoken aloud. There came no response from him immediately, and I was sure that he hadn't heard me. I hugged him all the tighter, his body strong against me. We were alone in the dance rehearsal room, surrounded by mirrors. I only focused on the crisp fibres of his t-shirt and how in the closeness of my view to it with my head against his chest, it looked almost brand new. The voice that cut through the music stung like ice in my veins.

     "You have no choice." His grip tightened, bruising me as I was unable to free my limbs from the restraint. My eyes shot up to the tall figure and saw that the baby blue eyes were gone. It was Benjamin, his smile haunting and devilish as he laughed so deeply at my squirming. The scenery changed around us, crowds replacing the mirrored walls as they circled us, closing in. They clapped like drones and from on high I could see our parents watching in hurried anticipation as Benjamin and I were enveloped by the crowd, my sight fading to blackness.

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       "Ava, wake up!" Bodhi's groggy tone cut through to my sweat-ridden body as my eyes opened and I shot up, grabbing on to my brother. His voice was the sound I clung to, praying to wake from the temporary paralysis of sleep. "Jesus Christ, what happened? I heard you crying in your sleep, what's wrong?" He hugged me close to him, the first affectionate gesture between us in days since the hiking trip.

         His t-shirt soon became coated in my tears and sweat as I hyperventilated my way into a panic attack. Bodhi called for Mom and Dad, startled at his sudden inability to help in any way. Bodhi was always my knight in shining armour, there when times got tough. Mom and Dad burst into the room, quickly deploying the routine of breathing and drinking water until I returned to normal, my heart rate slowing until I felt my eyelids droop with exhaustion and I knew it was over. Bodhi remained glued to the wall, his eyes watching me, a look of complete shock staining his face. He had been absent for the years that Mom and Dad had to deal with me when I was like this almost every other night.  Mom's voice jerked him out of his trance-like state.

    "Both of you get some sleep." He barely nodded and exited the room.

   "Bo--" I tried, but I was too exhausted to call him back in.

      I felt Mom's lips kissing my forehead as I lay back down on my damp pillow. 

  "You and Benjamin are going to be setting up the tennis courts tomorrow. I'll wake you in a few hours but until then, sleep tight."

     She left her words heavy on my chest as she closed the door, the walls becoming smaller until I had to clamp my eyes shut to escape. 

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        "Sorry I got you roped into this. I-I just needed an excuse to come down here," Benjamin smiled as he held the multiple nets under his toned arms as I followed, holding the tennis rackets, and we reached the courts.