Summer Rain

XXX ~ Shadows

{How Do You Feel Today? - Gabrielle Aplin}

...We moved faster than fate, but it came at a cost, now you're tripping over backwards for the days of youth you lost, I've offered you my hands, and I've given you my hope, so let me be your salvation, I refuse to be your rope...

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July 5th

          They say that 93 per cent of human communication is non-verbal, and yet I found myself stumbling over words of the people around me as though I was wading in a sea of the inner monologues that spilt out of them. The dancers of the ballroom exuded grace and tenacity as their bodies moulded into shapes so beautiful I could barely even breathe watching them.

         I was jealous.

         I wanted to be the one dancing in a gorgeous dress with Elliot leading me as we moved throughout the dance floor, unaware of anyone around us at all. Instead, I had my butt planted firmly on a barstool as I ordered another coke, trying to pull my frown into an acceptable thin line.

        There were so many dancers, each with their own routines, costumes, partners and scores to settle. The ratio of guests to employees was staggering. There were so many employees dancing in the competition that Tim had to call for extra waiting staff for the evening. They all yearned for that cash prize. As the unfamiliar barman placed my cold cola on the bench of the bar, our eyes were both turned to the stage where another dancing couple were to begin their routine.

       There came a heat at my back, a tall figure standing behind me and my heart leapt at who it could be, but when I turned around, the excitement turned to revulsion.

    "Didn't expect to see you here tonight." Benjamin moved from his place behind me to stand in front of me, blocking my view of the dancers.

      I glared steadily at him even though his words had no trace of malice or contempt in them. He sounded like the Benjamin I thought I knew.

    "Do I look like I want a rat like you anywhere near me?" I spat, trying to look elsewhere, moving my body so I could see the dancers, but it was useless.

    "Come on, don't be like that." He half-whined, but I was already removing myself from my barstool as my height decreased when my feet reached the floor.

    "I'm serious. Leave me alone." 

     With that, I began wading through the cloth-laden tables to where my family sat. Cady and Bodhi were bored to tears, and Mom was mesmerised by the gowns. Her bushbaby eyes lowered slightly when I sat down next to her, puffing out a breath of air to calm myself down. Thankfully Benjamin did not follow.

     Dancers came and went, and each one was as good as the last, but I knew if Elliot and I had danced, we would have won. I'd never seen a routine like it, and I'd never felt more powerful or more vibrant than in those hazy moments where the world disappeared. I sighed audibly as what felt like the millionth contestants entered the dance floor to a round of applause. Mom leaned into me, her perfume present but not as noticeable as it usually was.

    "You know honey if this is too upsetting for you, you can go on back to the cabin..." I turned to look at her, not sure if I was hearing her correctly. "If seeing Elliot would upset you, then you can go home. You don't have to watch."

     She smiled, squeezing my hand. It was when I looked at her more closely I began to see differences with her. She wasn't fighting for Dad's arm any more so she didn't have to exaggerate herself.