'Till We Meet Again

Chapter 10

"Janny..." 
 
Here we are again... Kerri and Anne were in front of me. Alam ko na ang sasabihin nila.
 
"Alam ko na-"
 
"Narinig mo yun diba?" Pagpuputol ni Anne na siyang tinanguan ko lamang.
 
"You love him?" Tanong ni Kerri.
 
"We are just infatuated... We don't feel anything for each other, but that's all. I don't need to stop what I feel for him; admiring him from afar and seeing him happy and in love with someone else is enough. Akala ko lang this is the right time for me to meet the one, but I was wrong... Maybe we just met at the wrong time. Or maybe Daryll is not the right person for me." I seriously said. I didn't show any emotion because I'm afraid that they might even know what I really feel.
 
This time, yung mga sinasabi ko ay totoo yun. Walang halong biro at kasinungalingan ang lahat ng sinabi ko. Sapat na sigurong paliwanag yun para makontento sila.
 
"I chatted with Darryl when you asked for my help when he courted you, and you didn't know what to say... Do you understand why I said answer him 'yes'? It's because he told me that he was serious, it's his first time courting someone. He told me then that he wouldn't force things to work between you two, if it didn't, he'd stop." Sabi ni Anne, tsaka ako yumuko.
 
Mali ko nga talaga...
 
"He also told me that he's serious when he was courting you... Ito yung pag-ibig na malala. What if you really were... You just met at the wrong time. They say you're either the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time. But for me, I can say that you are really meant for each other, but you just met at the wrong time. Imagine, nasa huli niyo na napagtanto ang lahat na gusto niyo pala ang isa't-isa. Sa una kasi sabi ni Daryll sa'kin, biro-biro lang naman sana yun at nalaman mo yun kaya malaki ang trust issue mo, at di ka nagtiwala nung nanligaw siya. Janny, Daryll was just joking at first, but he realized that it wasn't a joke already. He realized that he was already in love, but he stopped, and I don't know the reason why."
 
Huminga ako ng malalim dahil parang hindi ko na ata kaya. Ako pala talaga ang may mali, I made a mistake in what I did, and now I regret it... Repentance really comes at the end.
 
"It's just that... When he was courting me, I didn't want to answer him 'yes' because I thought I didn't like him. He updated me wherever he was, even though I had already rejected him. He asked me three times, but I refused. I saw how he likes me, but I acted like I didn't see that. He updated me, but I always lied that I didn't see that and pretended that I didn't care. But God knows how I am happy whenever he updates me and talks dirty talk. I just want to test his patience, so I did all of those, but maybe I overdid it by making him feel that he wasn't there. I liked him before, but now I can't deny to myself that I'm just infatuated... We are just infatuated." No, I love him.
 
"Pvtang*na, Janny..." I looked at Kerri as she looked up and wiped her eyes. While Anne remained silent on the side and listened.
 
"When he stopped talking to me, when he avoided me, and when I found out that he didn't feel anything for me anymore, that's when I realized that I liked him, and that's when I saw his worth. I realized his worth when he was gone. Ang tanga ko lang dun sa part na pinakawalan ko yung lalaking walang ibang ginawa kundi tanungin ako ng paulit-ulit kung may pag asa ba na siyang lagi ko namang nerereject. I want to ask him, Is that already enough to surrender? I regret it. I know I hurt him back then, but now... I don't know... I just want him back."
 
Matapos kong sabihin yun ay naramdaman kong yinayakap nila akong dalawa...
 
"Naiintindihan ko kung bakit mo ginawa yun, Jan... You just wanted to be sure of love. Gusto mo lang manigurado bago mo siya sagutin kaso tumigil... Maybe Kerri was right, you met at a time that wasn't meant for you two."
 
I was wrong. Bakit kasi hindi ko kaagad nalaman na gusto ko na siya e wattpader naman ako...
 
Titigil na'ko sa kakahanap sa pagmamahal na yun, mabubuhay naman ako kahit na wala yun. Titigil na'ko sa kakahiling na bumalik kami sa dati, dahil dadating din ang panahon para sa'min.
 
At sa kakahiling ko na bumalik kami sa dati, bumalik nga... Bumalik sa panahong wala pa siyang nararamdaman sa'kin at minsan lang kami kung magpansinan...
 
Now, we have the same classroom but different feelings. We are close to each other, but it feels like he's so far.
 
Kami na lang ang natitirang tao sa classroom, pero parang may iba dahil sa katahimikan. There are two chairs between us, and when I looked at him, he was already looking at me.
 
"W-what?" I said.
 
"Do you still like me, Janny?" He asked, and that made me stop.
 
Nakapagdesisyon na'ko at ang tangi ko na lang na gusto ay ang malaman ang rason kung bakit niya yun ginawa, kung bakit siya sumuko.
 
"I don't like you."
 
He stared at me, then slowly nodded and looked away.
 
"You know how much I liked you before, Jan... But you refused me, and I know that you can't like me back because there's this one person you liked the most. I stopped 'cause I don't want to bother you anymore."
 
Tumulo ang luha ko tsaka ako humarap sa harapan, hindi na kayang tingnan siya.
 
If this is not the right time for us, I hope that when the right time comes, there will still be at least a little feeling left. Sana kapag dumating ang panahon na yun, siya yung tamang tao na nandun...
 
"If we were given the chance to meet again, would you still like me?" I asked him.
 
"If time tells, why not, Janny?"
 
"Yung nangyari sa'tin. We're just infatuated, right?"
 
He didn't answer, and maybe this is where our story ends.
 
If I could turn back the time, I wouldn't regret meeting him. At least there's this one person who loves me... The person I failed to recognize...