black dahlia. | yeonbin.

thirteen

yeonjuns tired body laid on the cold concrete, his eyes slowly staring at taehyun's limp body. he stared at the way his hair fell over his closed eyes, that soft smile placed delicately upon his body. taehyun didn't deserve that. he didn't deserve any of the stuff that yeonjun brought him into.

the thoughts lingered in his head, mind traveling back to the day he first saw soobin. if only he didn't fall for the charming smile...the sly responses. if he didn't fall for him...maybe taehyun would be alive. maybe taehyun would be cuddled next to him.

yeonjun sniffled as the thoughts built up in his mind, turning his body to face the wall. he couldn't look at him anymore. he couldn't bare to see the boy that could've had so much in life...because in a way yeonjun took his life away from him.

"its my fault..." yeonjun whispered against the cold air, letting the tears fall down his pale cheeks. "i'm sorry..." yeonjun ushered out softly, clenching his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling out anymore. he bit down harshly onto his lower lip, sobs slowly falling out faster and faster.

he felt his chest tighten as the air clouded his lungs, he knew what was happening. he was having a panic attack and truth be told yeonjun hasn't had one of those in so long.

he grasped tightly onto his hair, pulling light tugs at the ends to give himself some sort of safety. "it's all my fault" he mumbled into his arms.

"it's...it's.." he gasped for air in between the words, he felt as if he couldn't get a single breath out. "it's all your fault!" he screamed out, letting his frustrations all out, punching the floor out of anger; busting his knuckles as a result. he couldn't do it anymore.

he just wanted to be dead.

he wanted soobin to just kill him already.

he wanted to be with taehyun.

he wanted to be with beomgyu.

he could feel himself slowly going in and out of consciousness due to the lack of air and panicking. yeonjun laid his head back against the concrete floor, the cold floor wrapping itself around his body; shivers going through his body.

he closed his eyes, "all my fault." he whispered out before slipping into a state of unconsciousness.

authors note:
sorry for the lack of updates, mental health has been shitty lately. in all honesty, i'm not happy with the way this chapter is but thankfully it's just a filler chapter.

however on the good news, this book is only seven chapters till finishing...thanks to everyone who stayed with me up until now. i apologize for all of the things i lack in and such. until next time <3