SVU: The One Shots

Broken Dreams

Olivia settled down on the sofa and looked through the baby registry that Amanda had sent her a link to. She slowly scrolled down the page before stopping when she felt her husband's hands gently massage her shoulders.

"Liv, do you have something to tell me?" Trevor asked softly, his voice shaking as he noticed what his wife was looking at.

"Huh?" Olivia replied.

"Olivia, are you pregnant?" Trevor questioned as Olivia looked up at him. She felt tears burn her eyes before shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Trev... still nothing," Olivia replied. Trevor removed his hands from Olivia's shoulders before moving to sit on the coffee table. 

"Who's having a baby now?" He asked. Every time he asked this question, it broke his heart knowing they may never end up having a baby of their own.

"Amanda and Sonny are having their third baby..." Olivia trailed off with a weak sigh.

"They must be happy," Trevor whispered. Olivia shut her laptop before placing it to the side. She slid towards the edge of the cushion before grabbing her husband's hands.

"Trevor, I'm sorry that I can't get pregnant. We went through so much, just to have everything crumble because I'm barren." She frowned. 

Trevor shook his head and stood slowly, his hands slipping from Olivia's.

"I still love you and very much want to continue being your husband. It's just that everyone we know is having babies. Amanda and Sonny are going to have three, Alex has two, Casey... Geez Miss I-Don't-Want-Kids has freaking one herself! Let alone Elliot and Kathy! Liv-" 

Olivia stood and wrapped her arms tightly around her husband's tall frame. She placed kisses on his tear-stained cheeks before resting her forehead against his shoulder.

"Maybe we just aren't meant to be parents, no matter how much we want babies. My body isn't meant to carry our children," Olivia muttered. She reached up and ran her fingers through Trevor's hair, before leaning back and looking up at him.

"I'm going to get some air... I'll be home before bed."

Trevor slipped away from his wife's embrace and took long strides to the door.

"I love you, Trevor..." Olivia trailed off, as tears burned her eyes.

"I love you too," Trevor mumbled.

///

Olivia watched as her husband grew distant from her. She noticed him sleeping on the sofa at night or not coming home at all. Not once did she think he was cheating on her, and she didn't even have to investigate her husband's distance because she knew the answer. 

He wanted a baby, and she couldn't give him one. 

"Are you going to come home tonight?" Olivia asked quietly. She stood in the doorway to their kitchen, as Trevor poured coffee into a large to-go mug. 

"I have some trial prep, so I'll probably just crash in my office," Trevor replied. Olivia swallowed hard as she reached up and quickly brushed a tear from her cheek.

"Trev, it's our... Nevermind. I'll see you in a few days," Olivia breathed, her voice shaking. She walked to her husband and gently touched his back.

Trevor tensed up when he felt Olivia's hand on his back. He took a moment before turning around to look at her.

"I'm going to be away for more than a few days... I think."

"What?"

"I need space, Liv. Things aren't great around here, and I need to just relax for a bit."