SHOOT| ✓

Stephanie Rodriguez

I THINK I'LL HAVE MORE LUCK KILLING STEPHANIE.

The cheerleaders and the football team hold practices on the same day. This means that while our coach is holding drills, I get to watch the girls rally themselves and contort their bodies into odd forms and shapes. I never quite understood cheerleading. I can't relate to what most boys on the team see in girls in really short skirts and very tight shirts.

Coach gives us a water break and I use this chance to study Stephanie. She's head of the squad. Nice girl, always waves to me down the hall. That's what all nice girls do though. She's just abiding by social norms.

Ryder stands next to me and dumps his water all over his head. "Coach's really working us today. It's too hot for practice." He shakes his hair out and smoothes it back with a hand, offering me his signature lopsided grin before gulping down another bottle.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye as I wrap a fresh gauze bandage roll on my fingers. Helps with catching. Helps with letting me ignore the fact that I tried to kill him yesterday.

I want to tell him how much I miss him, but the words stick in my throat. I've been feeling this way for weeks, ever since he started hanging out with that new girl, but I've been too afraid to say anything. I don't want to come across as needy or possessive, but I can't help the way I feel.

"You're quiet today," he chuckles. "Lighten up. Graduation's in two weeks."

I force a smile, trying to act like everything's okay. "Yeah, I know. It's just hard to believe it's almost over."

Ryder nods, but he seems distracted, looking around at the other students milling about on the track. "I miss how we used to hang out, just the two of us. But, I don't know, you're really busy these days."

Maybe he feels the same way I do. But then I remember the way he's been acting lately, always with his new girl by his side.

"Yeah, I remember," I say, and we lock our eyes. I look away first and stare at my bandaged wrist. "Things change though."

He looks at me for a long time, his expression unreadable. "Do they have to? Can't we still be friends?"

I feel the tension in my chest, and I have to bite my tongue from saying something I'll regret. "Of course we can. But it's not just up to me, is it?"

Ryder is quiet for a moment, and I can feel him watching me. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, his tone defensive.

I take a deep breath. "It means that you've been acting like you don't want to hang out with me anymore. Like you're too busy with your new girl to even talk to me."

He purposely avoids looking at me, and I can see the guilt on his face. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice soft. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

I want to believe him, but the hurt is too fresh. I try to push the memories of Ryder and Stephanie out of my mind, but it's no use. It feels like she's always there, lurking in the background, stealing him away from me. I can't stand the thought of her, of the way she looks at him like he's the only thing in the world that matters.

But when Ryder looks at me with that grin on his face, all I can see is the boy I used to know, the one who was always there for me, no matter what. I know he's trying to make things better, to bridge the gap between us, and I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope.

"Hey, let's hang out sometime soon, just like old times." I know it's a lame attempt at cheering me up, but I won't deny his offer.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I want to believe him, to trust that things can go back to the way they were, but I don't know if I can.