Masquerade

Chapter Four

I stare back at him, unsure of how to answer that question. Do I even want to try to find them? I was so focused on my anger towards my adopted parents that I didn't even think about the possibility of looking for my biological ones. Should I just let the past go and focus on the good relationships I have now? Or should I seek closure so I can move on?

Even though I'm at peace with my adopted parents, I don't think I ever will be with my biological ones unless I discover what happened. I don't want to live my life making guesses about why they abandoned me; I want to know for sure. Even if the truth ends up hurting me, I know I can heal. It seems a much better alternative to forever wondering about the truth.

And once again, here is an opportunity right in front of me. Do I have any other choice? Who else would help me without reporting back to my parents?

There's just one thing, though...

"How...how do I know I can trust you?" It's the question that has plagued my mind ever since I met Jac. This question – along with my conscience – has kept me from approaching him for days. But will it do the job this time?

I suppose it all depends on his answer.

"Well, Fawn," he smirks, "it seems to me that this is a question you should ask yourself. After all, you trusted me enough to share a very personal family situation." He casually leans back against the bench and folds his hands behind his head, seeming satisfied with what he said.

"Well, I was desperate," I blurt. I quickly clasp a hand to my masked face upon realizing how rude that sounds.

"Ouch."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that..."

"No, it's alright, I understand. You didn't have anyone else to talk to, and I must say I'm glad you were 'desperate' enough to choose me." He grins, and I'm relieved to see that he looks amused rather than offended.

"Listen," he continues, this time leaning forward in his seat, "you're just going to have to decide how important this is to you, because chances are you're not going to find anyone like me. I'm experienced in geography and research, and I'm willing to do it for free. I may not have the cleanest record, so I can't guarantee that I can be completely trusted. But my intentions are true."

That speech didn't make me feel any better; if anything, it left more questions. Why is he doing this for free? What does he mean by not having "the cleanest record"? And what exactly are his intentions?

As if sensing my hesitation, Jac chooses to elaborate. "If it isn't apparent by now, I love adventure. Mystery. Excitement. If I have the opportunity to pursue even just one of those things, no payment is necessary. And about my past...that is something I would prefer to keep to myself. However, I assure you that it is nothing to be alarmed about, and I work for the kingdom now. I have a record to upkeep, and I won't be doing anything to jeopardize that. I definitely won't do anything to put you in harm's way, Fawn. I've become too invested in your story, so much so that I've begun to care for you."

That last part causes me to blush. I awkwardly adjust my mask, moving it ever so slightly so he won't notice. Once the embarrassment has passed, I think over everything Jac has said. The mystery around his past is still rather unsettling to me, but what other choice do I have? He's right: where else am I going to find an expert who won't ask for a large sum? It's too late anyway; I've already told him such a big secret.

He's a part of my life whether I like it or not.

"Can we meet tonight?" I ask warily. Maybe I can at least give him a chance. If we meet and it goes badly, then I can simply end the deal. Or at least, I think I can.