Masquerade

Chapter Twenty

We finally reach the end of the manmade river, which abruptly cuts off at a clustered portion of trees. One by one, we dismount the boat and settle onto the grass, all wobbling a little after spending so much time on the water.

Abner gets to work using a complicated spell to obscure the boat, so that Barlow doesn't see it and locate us. The rest of us build a campfire and settle in the trees, and Kendry and Wren fall asleep almost instantly. I struggle to sleep.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, I give up and find a seat on the riverbank to look at the water. But upon looking around, I realize that I'm not the only one with the idea; Jac is seated a little bit of a distance from me, eyes closed and face turned up towards the night sky.

I scoot next to him and lightly tap on his shoulder.

"Hello, little night owl. Can't sleep?" he grins.

The only reason I can see his facial expressions is due to the moon, which is especially full and bright tonight. "Not at all," I sigh.

"Lots on your mind, I suppose. You really need to stop blaming yourself for the whole Barlow situation," he chides, giving me a patient and knowing smile.

I don't even bother to ask how he knows about that. I've learned by now how perceptive he is. "I'm trying, but I can't shake the feeling that it's all my fault. I feel awful for ignoring your warnings, especially after what you told me on the boat..."

He makes a dismissive sound. "No, don't worry about that. What matters is that we're all safe, right? And I mean, we've gotten out of every bad situation in these crazy woods. Barlow can't touch us."

"Maybe you're right," I smile.

I go silent, feeling comfortable in his presence but on edge at the same time. My body hums with a new, strange intensity, centered in my heart. I come to the sudden realization that Jac has moved closer to me, that our shoulders are now touching. His hand is mere inches from mine.

Suddenly, he blurts out a statement I never expected to hear. "I want to tell you more. About me."

I stare, looking for some sort of sign in his eyes that this is a joke, something intended to do nothing more than add some lightheartedness to the situation we've gotten ourselves in. But I see nothing of the sort, only genuine honesty.

"Go...go ahead," I stammer, suddenly feeling as if my words are not my own.

A long pause ensues, as if he is considering whether what he's about to say is something he should really share. But finally, he comes to a decision and begins to speak.

"I'm not Verlockan, Fawn," he breathes, his voice barely a whisper. "I originally come from Grandarbre; I was born and raised there but moved to Verlockend a couple of years ago." He pauses once again, and I find myself wondering if that's all he meant to say. But once again, he comes to some silent decision that there is more to be said.

"I'm ashamed to say that I have not always had a humble job. When I was young, my parents sold me to a guild where I spent many years being trained as an assassin. Once I was of age and ready to work, I filled out constant orders. Killed countless people. All of my targets were horrible beings, people who committed atrocities. But it didn't make it any better. Definitely didn't make it any easier."

I swallow hard. I instantly understand why this is so hard for Jac to share, but it doesn't make it any less shocking. An assassin to a cartographer is a big leap.

"One of the rules of the guild I was in was that you never know your targets' names. It's been that way for years, so that the assassins can emotionally detach themselves from who they're about to kill. The only information we're given is their location and a little bit of background on who they are, what they've done. That's it. It makes sense, why they have that rule. But if I could ever go back and dissuade whoever it is that came up with the blasted rule in the first place, I would in a heartbeat. Because if it wasn't for that rule, I would have never lost Felicity."