16. too tired to be tough

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𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟷𝚜𝚝, 𝟻:𝟷𝟸𝚊𝚖

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𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢
𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟷𝚜𝚝, 𝟻:𝟷𝟸𝚊𝚖

Harry remembered being in love with his own youth. He'd always loved being seventeen and wild, waiting for the future to come but still craving the feeling of being young. He liked doing things other people didn't do. He liked driving with no destination. He liked to paint his nails bright colors. He liked staring at beautiful people with no shame, because beauty deserves to be recognized. He'd been beaten up again and again, but he never changed. He didn't need to. One day, he wouldn't know the bullies anymore, but he would still know himself and he really wanted to be someone he could love.

His mother was kind and his step-dad was generous. He had everything he could ever want, except someone to share it all with. Every song that he loved, every book that he doodled in the corners of, every strange thought that popped into his head - he wanted to share with a person who would love it all just as much as he did, and he wanted the same thing in return from the person.

Then, like he was sent from the heavens above, there was Louis.

He was the star of the school musical. Harry did his makeup. The half hour they spent together for those six nights were the most beautiful of Harry's life. Louis would always comment on Harry's nail polish and Harry would put the smallest amount of sparkles on Louis' eyes so that no one noticed besides them. They fell hard and they fell fast. On closing night, when the rest of the cast and crew went for pancakes, Harry and Louis ended up in Louis' car. They sat there while Harry told Louis about his songs and silly thoughts and Louis told Harry about his sisters. It was so sweet and innocent and lovely. That night, when Louis walked Harry up to his door and kissed him softly on the lips, Harry knew he was going to marry him. No one else would ever compare. He was young and he was naive, but, even then, he knew. He went inside and told his mum that he'd kissed the love of his life. She'd smiled the way you do when a teenager tells you they've met the love of their life. She was endeared, adoring the effects of puppy love. But the puppy love, over the course of a few years, turned into something deeper. It turned into forever love, the kind that lets you go on adventures and experience hardships and jump over every hurdle life throws at you together. Through everything that ever happened, Louis was there and Harry was there just the same.

He found himself often dreaming, however, that things were different. That Louis grew tired of him and left. That he ruined everything and all that he loved would be ripped away. These nights, he would wake up in tears and Louis had to hold him tight until he could convince himself that he wasn't and would never be alone. This was one of those nights, only, now, one of them was leaving and no amount of comfort could change it.

"It's alright, love." Louis rubbed Harry's back as the younger man tried desperately to stifle his cries. "I'm here. I'm not leaving."

"No," Harry breathed shakily. "I am."

Louis faltered for the briefest moment before he was back to squeezing Harry's waist and kissing the nape of his neck. "I know, Haz. But don't worry, alright? I'll be 'round for you soon. We took those vows, right? And I take my promises seriously. Death can't stop me. I'll find you."

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