Vulnerable

Chapter 5: Dream

Chapter 5: Dream

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Kylie's POV

"Give me more time to think, Toff." Jess said apologetically and looked at Josh again.

I felt Josh's arm relaxed a little bit. Not at all but, better than a while ago. But as he's starting to relax, the more weaker I become.

Please, Kylie, there's no room for weaknesses this time, I told myself. But I can't help it.

I saw how Toff tried to smile in front of Jess and everyone else, but I know deep inside, it's hard for him to contain this rejection.

"I expected that," Toff said and held Jesse's hands. "Pero masaya ako at sa wakas nasabi ko din sa'yo yung matagal ko nang nararamdaman. I love you, Jesse."

Jess started to look like she's gonna cry any minute now, "Ohh, Toff—-"

"Hey," he smiled at her and caressed her cheek, "don't cry Jess. Di ba sabi ko, hindi kita papaiyakin? Dapat masaya ka ngayon."

I felt that Josh was about to go to them again, but with all my might, I held him tightly, "Don't, Josh. Let them."

"Pero nawawala na yung esssence ng surprise ngayon!" he said with that really firm voice but only enough for me to hear.

I don't know how to react. Gusto kong sumagot din ng pabalang pero hindi ko magawa.

"I can't see anything wrong," I reasoned. "Besides, can't you see? Toff is doing a really sweet thing."

"Sweet thing?" iritang tanong ni Josh sa'kin. "Hindi mo ba nakikitang nahihirapan na si Jess sa sasabihin niya kay Kristoff? Naawkward siya dahil ang daming nanonood!"

That's it.

"Seriously Joshua, what is your problem?!" I snapped. "There is nothing wrong with what Toff's doing right now. He's just expressing what he feels. And don't you think that he's not having a hard time this moment? Don't you think he's having the guts to do this confession with all the people around and most of all in front of the girl he truly loves?"

"Baby——"

"Don't baby me!"

Sinubukan kong magwalkout pero agad din niya akong nahabol, "Kylie, hindi mo kasi naiintindihan."

"Then make me understand! Ano bang problema mo, Joshua?! Kasi...kasi hindi ko na alam iisipin eh..."

I can feel my eyes are starting to get heavy. Oh no, please, no to crying, please, please...

He sighed, "Kylie, Jesse is——"

"Okaaaay, peeps, tama na ang cheesy-ness." rinig kong sabi ni Malc.

Sabay kaming napatigil ni Josh at napatingin sa commotion sa gitna. Nakita kong magkayakap na sina Jess and Toff. Agad akong napatingin ulit kay Josh and there, nakita ko kung paano niya iniwas ang tingin niya sa dalawa.

"Let's enjoy the food and make selfies with our birthday girl!" dagdag pa ni Malc. And everyone started to shrug off what had happened and started to enjoy themselves.

I wish it was that easy for the four of us to shrug this off.

"Come on, Kyls."

Josh sighed and walked through the people and went straight in the middle. I was at least expecting him to hold my hand but he didn't.

I can still see how frustrated Josh is right now. I don't know... I really don't know. And I doubt if I want to know what he really feels right now.