Don't Know What To Do

chapter one

Heeseung sat at the dining table, savouring the fleeting moments of tranquillity as he enjoyed his dinner in solitude. The gentle ambiance was shattered when his father, Henry, barged into the room, his face twisted with anger and frustration.

"You little piece of shit! You're so useless, Heeseung!" his father spat, his voice reverberating through the room. He stormed over to the table where Heeseung sat, his eyes ablaze with fury.

Unfazed by his father's outburst, Heeseung raised an eyebrow and retorted with an air of arrogance, "Can't you see I'm eating?"

"I don't care if you're eating. You're being disrespectful to your father, Heeseung!" his father warned, his tone laden with authority. But Heeseung remained nonchalant, his focus fixed on his meal.

"What is it now? Tell me, what did I do this time to ruin your perfect evening, so that I can continue enjoying my dinner in peace?" Heeseung questioned, his gaze meeting his father's with unwavering confidence.

His father's frustration spilled over as he exploded with pent-up anger, revealing the reason behind his outburst. "The principal called me just now. He informed me that you've been neglecting your classes, and when you do attend, you simply sleep through them. It's embarrassing to be the father of someone like you, Heeseung. Can't you show some gratitude for the sacrifices I've made to raise you? Excel in your academics, for once, and don't bring shame upon our family name!" The desperation in his father's eyes betrayed the hurt hidden beneath the facade of anger. Heeseung, however, had grown weary of this familiar pattern, feeling the weight of his father's expectations pressing upon him.

Heeseung's lips curled into a sardonic smile as he fired back, "Excuse me, Mr. Lee, but isn't it your responsibility as a parent to raise and support your own child? Is it my fault that you betrayed your wife and had an affair, resulting in my birth? I, too, feel embarrassed to be your son, you know. If anyone should feel ashamed, it's you, Mr. Henry Lee." His words struck a nerve, fueling his father's anger.

Without a moment's hesitation, his father closed the distance between them, his hand lashing out to strike Heeseung with brutal force. The blow landed squarely on his face, sending him sprawling to the floor. Heeseung winced in pain, clutching his bleeding nose, but his resolve remained unbroken.

"You're grounded! You're just like your mother. Both of you are worthless, nothing but trash," his father shouted, his words cutting deep into Heeseung's wounded heart. "You don't deserve anything in this world, let alone carrying my surname, you useless kid!"

Rising from the floor, blood staining his trembling hands, Heeseung wiped away the evidence of his father's assault with an eerie calmness. To him, it was just another scar to add to the collection of wounds etched upon his spirit.

Amidst the chaos of his father's tirade, Heeseung found solace in his own thoughts. 'You need to stay strong, Heeseung. You have no one by your side except yourself,' he reminded himself, summoning an inner resilience that had become his constant companion.

Suppressing the resentment that churned within him, Heeseung mustered the strength to bow respectfully to his father, concealing his seething hatred beneath a mask of forced deference. The act of showing respect to a man who had inflicted so much pain upon him felt like a betrayal of his own self-worth. With a heavy heart, Heeseung quietly left the dining room and made his way up the stairs to his safe haven. Each step felt like a burden, as if his father's hurtful words had transformed into an invisible chain, dragging him down. Finally, he reached the solitude of his room and closed the door, shutting out the echoes of his father's anger.

Collapsing onto his bed, he found solace in its familiar softness and warmth. It provided a temporary escape from the harsh reality that burdened him.

Tears streamed down his face as he buried it in the comforting embrace of a pillow. In the privacy of his room, he allowed himself to be vulnerable, but he kept it a closely guarded secret. The thought of his father hearing his cries and witnessing his vulnerability sent a shiver down his spine.

Heeseung grappled with conflicting emotions. On one hand, his tears represented the pain and injustice that consumed him. They were evidence of the scars etched upon his soul, a reminder that he carried a burden no child should bear. On the other hand, he saw crying as a weakness, a vulnerability he couldn't afford to show. In a world that offered him no comfort, he believed that strength was his only defense.

Alone in the dimly lit room, his muffled sobs mingled with the whispered thoughts in his mind. The sound of his tears hitting the pillow created a melancholic melody.

As his tears gradually subsided, peaceful slumber called to him, providing a momentary respite from the turmoil of his reality. Within the embrace of his dreams, he found solace, if only for a short while, allowing him to momentarily escape the harshness of his waking life, and so, he surrendered to the comforting embrace of sleep.

Author's Message 💌: Hey, guys! How did you find the first chapter? I was actually really nervous when I clicked the publish button, haha. I hope you enjoyed it, and I would greatly appreciate it if you could click the vote button. Enjoy reading, and have a fantastic time! Lots of love, loveyah!