bapa: indefatigable love

Bapa: chapter 13 (I'm So Sorry)

Bose POV:

It's 7:45 PM. I'm still making the pasta while she's talking about everything she just discovered in my bedroom. I've never seen her talk to people like this before, I'm so lucky she chose me. I enjoy listening to her stories and her voice so much. When I came into the room I kinda hoped she wasn't dressed yet, but I have to be respectful to her and let her dress first. It's already dark outside and they said it'll be raining in ten minutes.

"Bose?" she asks. It's so cute when she says my name like that.

"Yes beautiful." I reply with an exaggerated voice while putting the pasta on a plate.

She laughs a little and then stops. "How do you feel after what happened today?" she asks. I know she's talking about the thing with my dad at the old house. 

"Uhm yeah I'm okay, thank you." I say. But I'm not. Ever since I found out I keep thinking about it, I'm trying to process it but it's not easy. And the idea he could be dead is haunting me.

"Are you sure? It's not nothing." she says.

"I'm sure, thank you." I'm not sure, but I don't want to throw all my problems on her. If she continues with this conversation I might go crazy. I don't want her to feel sorry for me, I don't want her to see me cry or sad. She has to stop talking about this.

"But you seem very distant since this morning and I'm worried about you. You don't even know where he could be." It's not her fault my emotional feelings are about to explode. But I really don't want her to see me suffer from all of this. She keeps talking about it and I can't focus on anything anymore. I'm holding back my tears and emotional feelings right now but it's not working. The only thing that's working for me now, is this...

"Chapa stop talking, please! Go away from me I don't want to have this conversation! Please stop and leave me alone. I can't fucking handle this anymore!" I yell.

And then, then I've realized what I just said. I'm like a stone. I don't move an inch. I- what have I just done?

"Okay, have it your way. I'll leave." She doesn't sound angry or mad. She sounds hurt. I can see it and I hate it. I didn't mean to hurt her. She walks away from me. I follow her and grab her arm.

"No Chapa, please wait. I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." I panic.

"You wanted me to go away. So now I'm leaving." she says. I can see she's holding back her tears. And I am too. We are both hurting each other. She lets go of my hand and walks faster towards the door.

"No please, stay!" I yell and follow her. She opens the door but I'm closing it with aggression. She gasps.

"Stop following me Bose! This was a mistake." she says. I'm not okay. What have I done? I'm not fucking okay. I'm having a panic attack. This can't be happening. I have to make things right. Now.

"Chapa please, don't leave." I say and cup her face in my hands. I realize I'm crying. I'm crying? The last time someone has seen me cry, was like 9 years ago.

"I love you. And you can think what you want but this, this was not a mistake. We both know it. And I will forever apologize for what just happened and I can't explain how sorry I am. I wasn't okay and I just didn't want you to feel bad for me. This is all my fault and I understand if you want to leave but please don't do this to me. I'm begging you." I cry out. "Please Chapa. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don't want to lose you. I will do anything to make it up to you. I'm so sor-" Before I can finish my sentence she pulls my face closer to hers and then, she kisses me.

She wants me. I know it. So I give her what she wants. What she deserves. I pin her against the wall and kiss her more urgent. Then I kiss her neck, cheeks and her forehead. I go back to her mouth and give her a heated kiss.

She wraps her hands around my neck and suddenly I feel her tongue in my mouth. I can't tell if she just forgave me or not. And I don't care. I want her. I've always wanted her. And now this is my opportunity to give us both what we've always wanted. Our love for each other is insane. The tension and chemistry we have is crazy. My tears have already disappeared by now.

She removes her hands from my neck and then I feel her hands slide under my shirt. She pauses the kiss and takes off my shirt. My breath is too loud right now. And she keeps me quiet with her kisses.

Then she takes off the shirt she was wearing. I love her own style so much. She usually has detailed clothes on which fits her so well. I was wearing a simple black shirt with nothing special on it. But who cares what we were wearing, we both prefer to see each other without clothes.

Chapa POV:

I couldn't stay mad at him after all the things he did for me. His body is warm and so perfect. He grabs my legs and he carries me in his arms. He walks towards his bed. It starts to rain. This is perfect. I love the sound of rain while I'm with him.

"You do know I have legs right?" I say while I'm still in his arms.

"I do princess but this goes faster." He grins. He puts me down onto his bed, carefully. He goes on top of me. He kisses my stomach first. Then my neck.

"You smell so good." He says. I feel his hands near these shorts. He wants to take them off.

"Wait." I say. He stops.

"Is there something wrong, are you okay?" He asks.

"No everything is perfect. Just wait. I want to look at you for just one sec." I say. I stare deep into his eyes.

"Come closer." I say. So he does. I have the control right now. He's not close enough.

"Closer." I demand. His nose and forehead are now against mine. Perfect.

"Why princess?" He asks and smiles. Our faces are still against each other. I lick his lips to tease him and I smile.

"Stop teasing me." He says. He can't hold himself back and he starts kissing me so desperate. He tastes so good. This night is the best one I've ever had. He's near these shorts and wants to take them off again.

"Do you mind?" He asks. I shake my head and he takes them off. I'm now in my underwear and bra. And I'm totally fine with it. I trust him.

"You're so beautiful." he says. I blush but he can barely see it. It's so dark in here.

"Lay down." I say. So he does. I go on top of his big muscled body. He wraps his arms around my body and pulls me closer. We're looking into each other's eyes for so long.

"I'm so sorry-" he says while he's holding me.

"Shhh." I cut him off and put my finger on his lips to keep him quiet. But he opens his mouth and licks my finger. I taste his saliva off of my finger and he laughs.

"Do you forgive me?" he whispers in my ear.

"On one condition." I say quietly.

"I will do anything." he looks serious and he means it.

"I want to swim with you tonight." I say. He likes my idea.

"Now?" he smirks a little.

"Yes. Now." I say.

We make out again and I love the way our tongues touch. He's so soft and good at this. I never wanted to leave. I wanted to see what he was going to do when I was about to leave. If he did nothing in I would've still left this place but he didn't do nothing.

He actually fought back. And I have to say... I got what I wanted, he got kinda mad and angry, and he looked so hot. Too bad he was angry at me and not someone else. But I don't care about it anymore. He loves me. He confessed it so many times and after all the things he did for me... I couldn't stay mad at him.