Behind The Closed Doors ( Englot FF)

Chapter 14

Author's POV

When someone experience a change in their usual activities, it can be concerning and even alarming. That is what happening to Engfa recently. She had few changes in her surrounding and activities, such the sudden avoidance and loss of interest in social interactions that she usually once enjoyed.

She even tweeted something about her dreams that are no longer her priority as she didn't know what she wants because of a feeling being lonely. Many people knew her for her bubbly personality, infectious laugh, and confident stride, yet not many knew about the struggles she had faced earlier in life that lead her to depression.

It's normal for someone who struggle with depression may find themselves longing for a companion. All she wanted is a person that she can talk to and share her feelings with, which can make her feel less alone in her struggles.

She misses her..

Charlotte's POV

I woke up from the sleep with tears in my eyes. I had a dream last night, a dream about losing someone important in my life. It's a figure of a woman but with vaguely face. My heart rates become faster than usual, that figure is the body of a woman that I am really familiar, that I've always touch and been always longing to touch and still want to touch. Her scent that always occupying my brain whenever I miss her, which literally has become my favourites.

The only scent that belongs to Engfa Waraha.

The heartache that suddenly appears become overpowering my emotions, that intense feeling causing my emotional turmoil. At the moment I feel lost. What if I lose her forever? Is it too late for me to let her know that I need her?

I reached my phone next to the bed wanting to dial P'fa's number, but there was a text message from P'Van.

P'Van: Charlotte, here is your schedule for this week. I'm sorry that your supposed to be off day will be replace to Koh Samui trip from the brand sponsor. In the previous schedule it supposed to be next week, I apologise for the change of date. To make it up to you we had made a deal with the brand owner to cancel job on the trip instead. So both of you won't be working at that time, consider it as a real vacation then! Take care and have a nice day love. :)

Oh god. Thats a great news! is this a sign? To mend what has broken. Before that, I need to make a move first by making a phone call. I want her to know that I'm still alive, well you know we haven't talk to each other for quite awhile.

Truuttt..Truttt~ Two rings and..  "Hello?" when I first heard her voice, I was surprised to find that it constantly makes my stomach feels butterfly.

"P'Fa.. It's Charlotte.." I stutter a little bit feeling nervous.

"Of course it's you Char. Ever think I saved your number?" Oops, my bad.

"Yeah..Sorry.Um.. How are you P'Fa?" I miss you.. I hope she misses me too.

"I'm fine.. just a little bit tired. How are you?"  I wish I could ease your tiredness.

"I'm not doing so good. It is just that.." I paused for awhile.

"Just what? Char? Hello are you there??" somehow I feel a bit relieved as I can sense that she sounds worried. 

"I woke up with a bad dream. I don't know what to do, then I thought of you. Sorry if I interrupted your day." it's a lie about wanting to call her but the truth about everything.

"No, no.. is fine. You can call me at anytime. Don't ever feel that way Char. You will never be a burden to me. What kind of dreams that bothers you that much?" She cares.. That makes me crave more of her.

"Where have you been P'Fa? I miss you." Oh please.. I need you to say it back. 

"I miss you too Char.. More than you know.." She seems to avoid expressing her feelings. Don't hold back P'Fa. You promise to talk right? So lets fight this, I want you to always talk to me about how you feel.

"Can we meet?" I asked her.

"Sure, of course Char. We can meet whenever you want." really? Whenever I want? just me and you don't? girl.. you really know how to mess with my mind. I must not fooled by her.

"If that so, I'll come to your house tonight for a sleepover. I wont take no for and answer." I can hear a sounds almost a cough over there. She must be surprised.

"Oh.. about that. Yeah why not. My work will be finished earlier today. I can fetch you after so you don't have to drive alone later". Sounds good to me.

"Alright. I'll be waiting at my house since I've got only one photoshoot and it just for a couple hours only." Find a way to mend any conflict or hurt feelings so that we can move forward with a stronger friendship that's what I thought at first, but a word friendship makes me feel unsettled. Perhaps I want more than that. I want to be the only one special for her. No matter what status we are.

"Sure.. I will let you know when the work has done and once I'm on my way. So I guess I'll see you later then?" As much as I wanted to talk more with her I need to let her go for now. We both got works to do. We talk a little bit more before saying goodbye and finally I could breathe normally.