SCARS

Nadine POV

What would you wear if you were being forced by your boss to attend your ex-boyfriend's Volleyball event? 

I clearly lacked the knowledge but comfort attracts me more than fashion-related accuracy does, so I threw a brown tube top upon myself and paired it with a white flannel shirt and grey trousers.

I had decided to drive to the event myself. If I continued to take Jan's ride offers, I would probably lose my dextrous grip over the wheel.

My Mercedes purred to life. When the love life I had dreamt of had gone straight down the drain, I had promised myself that I would fulfill every other dream I had ever had and Mercedes topped the list.

The stadium was an hour away. I turned up the volume of my sound system as it played my favorite Taylor Swift album and tried to tune out the other voices that were continuously ringing in my head since I had seen Ledger a week ago.

 I parked my car as I spotted Jan leaning against the door of his Maserati.

"Why don't you sell your car and buy a Volvo instead?" he asked as I approached him.

" Why would you say that?" I asked totally confused.

"So that I can call you a damsel in distress at least once," he replied chuckling.

" Point one, a Volvo's owner is not in distress. Respect the car...it's a masterpiece! Point two, I would rather die than be a damsel in distress who has been awaiting her knight."

That really hit a chord deep within me.

I hadn't been waiting for Ledger particularly.

But I had been waiting for my life to take the right road.

" Back to earth." Jan pulled me out of my reverie.

I had to learn to live in the present...the thousand-pound shit called the present.

" Let's go," I said trying to smile.

Jan took my hand in his and that earned him a questioning glance from me.

" Fake couple, remember?" he whispered.

" Why do we even have to go?" I asked whining.

" Because we wish to be more involved with them." 

I was uncomfortable.

Actually, that word was downplaying my feelings.

I was anxious and almost hyperventilating.

Jan led me to the gallery which had been reserved for the player's friends and family.

"Nady, meet Susan and our sweet little Lauren," Jan said tugging at my hand.

I smiled at her as I flipped through the names of all the doctors I had ever encountered.

"Lauren Louis Catalano, I mean," he said emphasizing the latter part of her name.

Ledger's daughter Lauren.

My eyes traveled of their own accord from Susan's face down towards her sleeping daughter's and back up again.

Susan had green eyes and her fair complexion only highlighted them as her blond hair fell softly over her high cheekbones. That face...looked familiar...but it couldn't be, right?

Wow. I was meeting Ledger's family...as a business friend

"Hi!" she said.

I felt some invisible power choking me as I kept gaping at Susan and the beautiful baby in her arms. Finally, she turned back towards the stadium. Of course, she should be searching for her husband. I wanted to tell her that Ledger was standing towards the other edge with his back facing us but I resisted the urge.

Life had actually punched me, hadn't it?

There was Ledger who at least had a wife and a daughter to go home to.

There was me who had moved out of my parental house and flown a thousand miles away in search of a place that didn't know me.

I propped myself down on the chair. Truthfully, I didn't have the slightest desire to watch Ledger play. His volleyball matches had been a fond memory in the past and I didn't want to press the rewind button of my life.

I took my earplugs out of my bag and began hunting for an engrossing episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Jan didn't question my actions, probably he understood my intentions.

Distraction was the key.