Music of the Heart

Dinner with Lucifer

©Aislynn d'Merricksson, 2015

We are a motley group,

the five of us,

come together to dine with

the Prince of Hell

and his lovely lady.

What a noble cause it is

that has brought us together,

this unlikely lot of

waykeepers,

world walkers,

dream weavers.

We have been brought together

by generosity of spirit

and the desire to help

spread a message of hope

to those ailing in heart and soul,

those who think the darkness of

oblivion is the only way to freedom.

Who would think love and loyalty

for the much maligned Morning Star

would be used to foster such good works?

Such playful irony indeed!

There is a quiet camaraderie at first,

each a bit shy, some more than others,

but as the night goes on, each comes alive,

firefly jewels glowing bright with personality.

It is a group bonded by night's end

in easy acquaintanceship, friendship even,

through intelligent, genial conversation,

and by the sharing of silent afflictions

that cause the world to spin, and

make pain a constant companion,

where spoons must be divvied carefully,

and depression threatens to engulf one

in a warm, silky wave of grey.

Many, if not all, of us

have been touched by the

demon we are gathered to protest.

We've glimpsed the darkness

and thought it welcoming-

a gentle quietness, and an end to pain,

and end to suffocating fear and terror.

A guiding light helped draw us home,

and so we, in turn, have helped

another become a guiding light for many.

I am no exception here, though only one

other has every truly known.

Now I share with each of you,

such a fragile offering of the heart.

When younger, the thoughts

came, on dainty cat feet,

purring seductive release from

the sheer pain of existing

feeling so unloved, so unwanted.

Older, the thoughts came again,

on padding wolf paws,

a practical, logical solution

(or so it seems)

to the possibility of living with

true blindness, to never again

see the stars, to play with colour

or dance with words as only the sighted can.

I am safe from that for the moment.

The wolf is held at bay.

What random vagaries of fate

drew the seven of us together?

What ghostings of possibility,

the fine lacework of chance,

woven and unwoven by our every choice,

solidified into the greater probability

that pulled us together that night?

What intangible gifts did it bring to each?

For others, I cannot speak, but for me,

I faced several fears that night.

Luck or Loki's blessing found me

seated next to the Prince himself,

a quiet, thoughtful man,

who terrified me nonetheless.

Who was I, to have such an honour?

my mind whispered, the wraiths of

my ragged sense of self-worth

swirling in panicked agitation.

A place I was unworthy of,

separated from the stability

of my sister, my family.

A place that left me to

trust a stranger to

unknowingly guard my blinded side,

where sight and perception

had failed me long ago.

Oh how I wanted to flee,

to retreat to a place I

was more 'worthy' of,

hiding on the fringes.

But stay I did, quelling

my panic as well as I could.

Stay I did, and I'm glad I did.

I faced my fears and

became a part of the group

instead of the spectator I

would otherwise have been.

I found a measure of acceptance,

found unexpected comradeship

with one who shares the same

rare dizzying affliction I do.

I found a part of myself that night,

gained back a tiny sliver of the

sense of self-worth long ago shattered.

I found my awen, my poetic inspiration,

dormant these many years.

Oh, how I've missed it!

To Lucifer and his lovely lady,

I thank you.

To the companions of the night,

I thank you.

Each and all played a part and

I thank you.

May each have discovered their own

intangibles gifts of a extraordinary night!

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this poetic offering. Comments and votes are most appreciated!