Still MY Wife

T W O

You heard the doorknob twisting and immediate regained your posture back, not wanting anyone to see you vulnerable anymore. Hoseok entered the room, he glanced at you but soon his gaze shifted.

"Where's she?",  you asked, trying to act nonchalant.

"Slept. Are you okay?", Hoseok said as he shut the door and went towards the other side of the bed, itching the back of his neck as he sat down.

You took a quick look at his neck because deep inside you are still worried about every little discomfort he has. His neck was red. It looked like someone scratched it.

You sat on the bed and bent over to him and grabbed his neck making him fall over to your side. Still, somehow you both managed to keep a distance from each other. It was like an imaginary line keeping you both away from each other. And you both decided to keep maintaining that distance.

"What the- Y/n-", Hoseok was obviously surprised by your sudden action.

"What happened to your neck Hobi? It looks painful."

"Oh this?", he touched the red spot, "Minji was a bit frustrated. She didn't scratched it. She was holding me tightly and her nails were long so, it's okay.", He said coming back to his original position, resting his back on the bed frame.

"Oh, she is upset."

"Well we can't help it, maybe."

"Maybe"

Neither of you wanted to let go but staying together wasn't an option too. No one can understand what happened to that cute, funny and this-is-the-relationship-I-want couple. This maybe that you use to make your decision make sense, you know even this is a lie.

"Y/n."

"Yeah?", Hoseok caught your attention. Your neame doesn't sound sweet from his mouth anymore. It sounds rather painful to even exist in his life.

"You called me Hobi almost after four months."

You both looked at each other. Your hearts was with a similar pace. The way he said it, as if he waited for you to call him Hobi, it was eating you up. The thought of hurting him is eating you up but you'd rather have him safe than hurt.

"Why did I just-", you thought.

"Sorry.", escaped your mouth.

You looked away. You can sense his pain. You still cared, how can you not. He was still Hobi for you.

"Why are you sorry?", Hoseok tried to cross that imaginary line and almost reached out his hand to you but you frantically stood up and went outside, your excuse being, "I- I gotta check on Minji. Y- You should sleep. Good night."

"Y/n I-", you ignored. Not him but yourself.

You entered Minji's room. She was sleeping holding your family picture. You went near and sat beside her head. Gliding your hands over her long hair you mumbled, "You don't want us to go away too, right? But Minji we- we don't have an option. Sorry, we can't give you a family, a childhood.", you hope she felt, feared she heard.

Your eyes were glossy as you said. You kissed her forehead and went outside after giving her one last look filled with maternal love and warmth, slowly closing the door making sure not to wake her up.

The next morning you woke up to the noise of alarm getting replaced by the sound of something hitting the ground. You hurriedly sat up.

"The fuck was that-", you tried to locate the cause of the noise.

"Hey! Minji's awake!", Hoseok said, shushing you.

You saw a metal box on the ground. It contained your jwellery that you had put above your cupboard. You are no longer interested in getting ready anymore. Nothing excites you now. As if everything, every joy you had is just gone, lost without a trace.

"Hoseok!", you whined while picking up the pieces of your accessories. He bent down to help you.

"Sorry.", he said chuckling, "I was just checking things up here."

You wanted to smile too but didn't. You packed everything up and placed it back to it's original place.

"Hoseok get ready, we have to reach the lawyer's office at 11. It's already seven- thirty." You didn't wanted to go there. It was terrifying. Seeing long relations breaking up with just a stroke of pen was too painful to witness, especially when it's your own relationship.

"Okay.", you didn't saw any sign of pain or nervousness on his face. Since when did you both became like this?

You got Minji ready for her school. Poor girl had no idea that when she come back she won't find the family she deserves. You also got dressed wearing a simple white shirt and black leather pants with a scarf around your neck. You picked up the lipstick and placed it back. You'll wear it for what? Your divorce?

"Ready to go to school Min?", Hoseok asked while picking her up in his arms. The girl replied with several nods, smiling.

"Good girl. Let's go. Today both of us will drop you there, hm?"

"Really? Thanks dad!", she wrapped her hands around his neck.

The moment was so wholesome that for a second you thought it was all real, that you all are still a normal family, that nothing has ever happened, that she isn't yours.

These eight months were rollar coaster of emotions. Nothing is easy to forget, especially bad memories. You don't have a choice called forgiveness. It was hard to live, to live with fear, his memories, guilt while trying to act normal for each other.

Maybe hiding your pain caused such a painful wound in your relationship.