𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 | fushiguro t.

31

let's take a moment to appreciate animated toji before u read ...

—

You were awoken by a jerky movement beside you. Slowly opening your eyes, you stirred to come face to face with Toji's side. Judging by how dark it is, you're guessing it's only around 4 or 5 in the morning. Stretching your arms over your head, you paused and drew your brows together. Something was definitely wrong the moment your eyes lifted to his face. He was flinching, his face scrunched like he was in pain.

"Toji?" you shake his arms but he didn't budge, startling you a bit when his head turned to your side, eyes still shut close. You rose from the bed and dropped your gaze to his hands that were clenching so hard that his knuckles were turning white. Panicking, you grab onto his shoulder and shake him harder. "Toji!"

His lips were twitching and it was scaring you at how he looks like he's being possessed. "Toji! Wake up!" nails digging onto his arm, you shake him again. Your other hand slide to his cheek, lightly tapping it. The pulse on his neck was rapidly beating, and whatever he's dreaming of is the result of this.

You gasped when he snapped his eyes open to the ceiling, hand instantly flying to grip your wrist. "Ow!" you yelped when you felt how tight his grip is. One wrong move and he can break your bones. When he thankfully came to his senses, recognition flashed in his eyes and he immediately let go of his death grip on you. He leaned on his elbows, his chest heaving, worry evident in his eyes when he makes eye contact with you.

His hard gaze softened, seeing you rub your wrist. "Y/N..." he reached to soothe the ache by caressing it with his thumb. He winced when he saw you curling your lip in pain. He brought your hand up to gently kiss your wrist, resting his cheek on your hand. Eyes filled with concern, he rasped, "Are you okay?" His deep morning voice easing the pain you're feeling.

You managed to nod, the ache vanishing because of his touch. "I'm fine... are you?" you stared into his eyes, worried about the episode he just had. Was it PSTD? You don't remember him having one when he resigned from the marine corps back then...

He held your nape, pulling you to him and leaned in to kiss your hair. "I'm sorry..." he murmurs, his hand moving from your upper arm to your wrist. Hearing the regret in his voice saddened you, feeling your gut clench. You didn't comment on how he didn't answer you, not wanting to force him. Instead, you let him hold you, feeling his heavy breath on your head.

Pulling away, you grab his face, giving him a soft smile. "It's okay, baby... it's okay..." you cooed, kissing his nose. He closed his eyes, like he was savoring the kiss. You moved to sit on his lap, cradling his head on your shoulder. Your hand went to brush his hair, worried for him, wanting to ask so many things. You're sure he can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

After a few moments of silence, you finally gave in by asking the question that lingered in your mind. "How often do you experience... that?"

His hand drew circles on your back. He didn't answer instantly, but when he did, your throat tightened. "Since I left."