Memento Mori

Chapter Eight

Days at the Poes' passed, days of small breakfasts, days of itchy clothes, days of cold dinners, days of endless poems and newspaper articles, and nights of cramped beds - or to be more accurate, as it is sadly my job to be, one cramped bed. 

March 27th (I have spent two years attempting to discover the year of the Quagmire's day at Prufrock, but my attempts were unsuccessful) was a sad day for everyone staying in that small blue molehill, some people sadder than others.

It was a sad day for Edgar, who had lost his favourite magazine (something the Quagmires couldn't understand being sad about). It was a sad day for Albert, who, with his parents about so often, found it hard to bully the Quagmires, although this was good for the triplets, of course. It was a sad day for Mrs. Poe, whose most recent newspaper article had not got published, and it was a sad day for Mr. Poe, who was having some trouble at the bank.

But most of all, it was a sad day for the Quagmires, who were about to spend the remaining two hours of the day in a car heading to the Hinterlands, and the next day would be even worse. As much as I would like to say that Duncan and Isadora woke up early the next morning. They got changed into their comfortable uniforms and drove to the Hinterlands. They found the school was bustling with nice students, and the Principal was a lovely man who had a particular talent for not only running the school, but playing the violin.

It does make me sad that I cannot write that story, but the truth is the truth, and the truth is that I am here to write the truth.

"Wake up, Duncan! Wake up, Isadora!" Mr. Pie shook them awake, at last getting their names right.

Duncan looked at his watch and realised that it was 10:00. He felt an uneasy feeling of déjà vu - a phrase which here means 'an unpleasant feeling that the current situation has happened before' - as he remembered the fire.

"What is it?" asked Isadora, bolting up in bed.

"Is there a fire?" asked Duncan, doing the same.

Mr. Poe chuckled and shook his head at this. "No, no, children. We are going to Prufrock Preparatory School."

Albert somehow woke up just then and shook his brother awake.

"Edgar!" he whispered urgently. "They're leaving!"

Edgar laughed in relief. "It's about time! I don't want this place to burn down."

The Quagmires ignored him, but the brother's words still stung. They knew that they had not set the fire - they hadn't been out of bed after they had got in at quarter to nine.

"Edgar." said Mr. Poe warningly, turning around to face his son. Then, he turned again and faced the triplets. "Come on, children."

"We're going to Prufrock Prep?" asked Isadora, rubbing her eyes.

Duncan groaned and led back down. "Why do we have to go now? We've already been asleep for two and a half hours!"

"Yeah, because Dad makes you go to bed at half seven!" laughed Edgar. "I get to go at half eight, and Albert gets to go at nine! Although he's already asleep."

"Edgar." warned Mr. Poe again. He didn't notice that Albert was, of course, only pretending to be asleep, shaking silently with laughter under the bed cover. "Anyway, Quagmires, like I was saying, there is no fire." He broke off and started violently coughing.

"Um." said Duncan uncertainly once the man had stopped. "You had already said that."

"So I had!" exclaimed Mr. Poe. "Well, do hurry up. We want to get there at the most convenient time."

"Oh." said Isadora, surprised. "Is it a long drive?"

Mr. Poe tilted his head in thought as he watched Duncan and Isadora practically roll out of bed, Isadora grabbing a hairbrush from her bedside table to brush her untidy, pitch black hair. "No, I just want you to hurry up. It's not a necessarily long drive, but it's two hours - the school is in the Hinterlands - and midnight is a convenient time to get there."

"Is it?" asked Isadora, attempting to pull her brush through a knot.

"It doesn't seem like a convenient time." said Duncan reasonably, his voice full of doubt.

"Of course it is!" exclaimed Mr. Poe, astonished. "Then your day at school gets to be from midnight to midnight."

Isadora and Duncan glanced at each other.

"Did we even get accepted?" asked Isadora.

"Yes!" Mr. Poe exclaimed. "Look, here's the letter."

He showed a piece of paper to the Quagmires. The triplets read it quickly, thinking that they really only needed Mr. Poe to say yes or no.

LETTER OF ACCEPTANCE

Dear Arthur Poe,

Isadora Rose Quagmire and Duncan Lewis Quagmire have been accepted into Prufrock Preparatory School.

That was how the letter began, anyway. The letter is so tedious and boring that I won't include it here so that you don't have to read it (although you shouldn't be reading this book either). I am also sorry to say that the rest of the letter was nearly as polite as the first sentence.

* Please note: all students should come wearing their school uniform.

That is what the letter ended with.

"Look." said Mr. Poe, pointing. "All students should come wearing their school uniform. That's you! Students."

"Why can't we just continue attending our old school?" asked Duncan.

"Prufrock Preparatory School seemed like a fantastic place to learn, so I sent you there. Also, your old school wasn't a boarding school, and I don't want you cluttering up my house." said Mr. Poe. "Now, go and get dressed!"

The second reason was actually quite good, although it was delivered in a slightly rude manner. Duncan and Isadora rushed to the bathroom and washed their faces, making sure to pick up their commonplace book on the way out of their room. Duncan had been told to get dressed in the bathroom, whilst Isadora had been asked to dress in the kitchen.

Isadora's uniform was a crisp white shirt and a dark red tie with thin yellow stripes. Over the top of that was a maroon jumper with grey tights and a grey skirt. Duncan's uniform was the same but with grey trousers instead of tights and a skirt.

"Are you ready, children?" asked Mr. Poe when they had got dressed. "Then let's go."