Psycho Love

15

*Flashback*

It's pitch black in this cell. I can't see my hand in front of my face. I whimper as I try to crawl around, looking for the closest wall to help prop myself up on, but I can't find it.
"Ember." His mechanical voice comes from somewhere in the darkness.
"Oh babydoll." His voice taunts me again. I swivel my head like a maniac desperate to find where the voice is coming from.

I scream as I get drenched in ice cold water. Frantically I try to push myself away from the freezing water and into the wall that my "bed" is next to. Bed is an understatement, it is an old, thin mattress, that is stained with blood. My blood. My sore body protest the sharp movements and begs me to stop. Clutching my right side, where my 2 broken ribs are, I try to slow my frantic breathing and calm down.

In. Out. In. Out.
I reach up to where my pendant is on my bruised neck and rub it between my fingers, hoping it will somehow calm me down or magically teleport me out of this place.
"Ah, babydoll. You are awake." He rubs his hands together in excitement. "I have missed you."
My stomach lurches and I can taste bile rising up into my mouth. His gloved hands reach out for me but I flinch away. He lets his hand drop down beside him and sighs. "You know it hurts my feelings when you do that, Ember." I tremble as I watch his hands turn into fists. "But because it's your birthday I will let it slide. Just this once." His voice is menacing as he says the last part.
It's my birthday! I'm 19! That means I've been here for 6 months. How did this turn into my life. 6 months ago I was happy, after so long I was finally happy and now look at me. I'm cowering in a corner, beaten and bruised, and totally alone. I don't want this life anymore. I never thought that I would long for death at 19 but I do. I want to see my parents again. I want to see Chloe. I need to see Zander. I miss them so much.
"Please." I beg, barely above a whisper as my throat hurts from the bruises around my neck. "Please just kill me. I can't do this anymore. Please!" A sob racks my body and I scream in pain as my violent sobs cause my ribs to throb.
"Babydoll don't say that. I love you and we will always be together, no matter what."

*End flashback*

"Maybe one day I'll tell you about how I got away but I just... I..." My words are stuck on my throat as the treats start to stream down my face. I turn my face away from Caden, ashamed to be showing such weakness to someone I've only just met.
I feel his hand on my knee, in an attempt to comfort me, which causes the heat to rise in my cheeks. I keep my face turned away, hoping that he doesn't notice. If he does, he doesn't show it.
"So you haven't told Trey any of this?" Caden questions.
"He knows that my parents were killed and that I was kidnapped. He also knows that the person that kidnapped me is back. But I haven't gone into details with him. Since he lied to me about what happened when he killed that man... I don't feel like I can trust him." My stomach drops as I remember who I'm talking to. "I'm sorry about what Trey did to your guy. I couldn't stop him in time. You aren't going to hurt Trey now, are you?"
He stares at me for a moment, and when he answers he has a menacing edge to his voice. "No. From what you just told me, we have bigger issues to deal with at the moment. That being said, if he lays a hand on anymore of my members, I will kill him myself."

After that chilling statement, Caden gets up from his crouched position in front of me and excuses himself, leaving me to process eveything that just happened. Did i really just tell my whole life story to a stranger? I can't tell if what i just did was brave or insanely stupid. I wonder if I just put myself in more danger telling him all of that. Oh well. It's too late now.
I get up and lock the door and when I come back to lay on the king bed I lose any ounce of energy I have left and end up staring up at the ceiling. I shove my hand into my pocket and grab out Zander's switch blade, and rub my fingers along his initials.
So much has happened in such a short period of time that my brain hasn't been able to process everything fully. Now that I'm alone the last 48 hours go through my mind as if on a loop. But what concerns me the most is that HE has come back, at the same time that the black wolves enter my life. Why? A rage starts to build up in my chest and I want to scream but nothing comes out. There are so many unanswered questions, so many things that just don't make sense to me. Why is this all happening? What did I do to deserve all of this?
The pressure in my chest starts becoming unbearable as all of these questions fill my head. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I need to calm down or I'm going to have a panic attack. It's sad that I can now tell when I'm about to have a panic attack; it used to just sneak up on me but I have them so often that it's become a daily battle.
I shove the pillow that is under my head and push it into my face and force myself to scream. At first it doesn't help but the more I force it out, the more natural it becomes. I imagine that I'm screaming at the Masked Man, at my father, at Trey, at Caden but mostly at myself because if it wasn't for me then none of this would've happens.
It's my fault that the Masked Man is still alive. It's my fault that Trey got dragged into this.
It's my fault that everyone I have ever loved is dead.
Why didn't I die instead of them?
Why am I the one left standing?
Why am I always the one left standing?
With these questions bounding around in my head, I feel my heavy eyes start to close. Maybe I'll wake up and this will all be a bad dream. I wish it was all a bad dream. As I fall asleep I start to imagine what life would be like if everyone was still with me. Would Zander be here, holding me in his arms? Would I fall asleep to the sound of mum and dad whispering and laughing together as they watched their favourite tv show?
Please let me dream of happiness, I beg my brain.
As the dark starts to envelop me and I swear I hear the lock on my door click but I'm too tired to process it properly before I fall asleep.