Identical Hearts

Wandering

Sometimes I find myself
Wandering
The streets of a new city
I fly to
Just to feel small again
In the grand scheme of things
I stare at the bright lights
Over the scenic view
Millions of people
Packed into Medellin
And I know I am one out of a billion
Slightly insignificant
And then I go home
To remind myself
I am important
To people who care
And I'm their whole world
But my feelings of saudade
Stem from their
Judgment
And mistreatment
And always trying to force me to be
Something that I'm not
And trying to live up
To the high expectations
They set for me
And that I set for myself
But alone in this city
I wander the streets
I taste the street food
I immerse myself in a culture
That is not my own
And I ask myself
Is this who I thought
I would grow up to be?
Younger me would be envious
Older me feels lost
I think of all the times
I gambled on love 
The things I've experienced
The friends that I've made
I don't know if I
Will ever even see them again
I think of that lovestruck boy
On the beach in Puerto Rico
Who cried for me
When I said I had to go
And I think of the time
I wore my blue hijab in turkey
And the old woman who sold it to me
Said it matched my eyes perfectly
I think of the graffiti
Lining the streets of Colombia
And I think of the man
Who taught me to dance
And how he coiled my hair
On the index finger
Of his right hand
And told me that I
Was a very special
And I ask myself
What he saw in me
And I wish I had the answer
For now I keep wandering
Until I find the right spot
To plant my roots
Until I find the one
Who makes sparks shoot
From places in my body
I didn't know existed
As I gaze at the view
Over New York City at night
I think of the words
Of the palm reader on the street
Who told me I have so much
Unlived potential inside of me
I need to continue on
Keep exploring
Keep drinking fabulous teas
Until my last sunrise
As I watch the hot air balloons
Rise over the horizon in Cappadocia
I know I will die happy at least