VENUS (voluptuous part one)

THE ROCKS

The harder I tried to get in, the harder it was for me to break ground
Rocky heated grounds, you'd think they'd melt.
You'd think years close to the sun would have you molten, dripping lava
Ready for someone to hold you, mold you, into one cool rock.
Someone you'd kill with the heat, one you'd melt to charcoal the moment they set foot on you
Someone that would prove how unlovable you are
Someone that would prove how you were meant to be alone, just a planet of hard rock, nearer the sun than anything.
That you were just a planet, rotating the other way round, days longer than two hundred mine, lonely

It was okay, your soul used to the questions.
Why and how, when and where, who and to whom, even when I know me,
Would I be discovered, held close, told your heat is beautiful, the dark crusty rocks important, a planet worth killing for.
And when they were not answered, you burnt and killed, dried up and saddened.
A hot rock, beautiful to the eyes, warming to the heart, with a little pulse left, days longer than two hundred and thirty mine.

Through my telescope I watched in ecstasy
Heart burning to feel a bit of your heat
Even as a dying wish
You called me gray, sometimes red reflecting your heat when I couldn't directly see the sun
Or in the days the moon got round enough, bloody, making me shed my womb
You wanted to see me lose control
You wanted to see how crazy I could get
You wanted to unscrew my sanity, disassemble  me, put me back screw by screw
As if that would fill you, give you purpose, something to kill time with, forgetting your loneliness

I was too far, watching, and I could tell all that you wanted.
I was willing to be the sacrifice.
To come close and let you consume me
Even just once, my days shorter, I wanted to give you a second, that's a bout a quarter of my day.
Burn, watch you burn me to death, unravel me, go up in flames, ashes of your love
You made me believe in the phoenix
Maybe I'd burn and return from my ashes
And watch you burn me all over again
And that was love, my venus

A whole year, creating a phoenix, was like a day and a half for you
I labored as you watched and put forth a boy, a dawning phoenix, in preparation.
You watched quietly, without questions, rocky hard, carrying misconceptions.
The first time I got close, you asked me if I had any running water for your burning rock.
When I didn't reply, you asked how I prepared my phoenix, a misconception you carried, watching on the side
And I told you to watch me, try me, tell me if you could find any water to quench your thirst, and if it would be enough for your burning rock.
I was willing, came when you called,
To be the sacrifice
Even for a second, a quarter day mine,
Surrender who I had been
For a taste of your burning rock
Venus