Guarding Love

Chapter 6 - Grief

"A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out." — Walter Winchell.

Scarlett POV

"Y/N, are you still there?" I try not to panic and keep my voice calm on the other side of the phone, but she's gone quiet. "Y/N, talk to me, please."

I sit silently, with my phone at my ear, waiting for her to respond. After several moments, she still was not responding. All I could hear on the other end of the phone was her breathing. I did not want to tell her the news over the phone, but I was worried after Jason and Katie called me. They had called and texted more than a dozen or more times each since seven this morning with no reply. I was utterly shocked when Katie called; besides the occasional hello and small talk, she had never really given me the time of day. In my mind, I knew she either didn't trust or liked me from the body language she conveyed and the few messages Y/N sent me.

"Y/N, did you hear what I said?" I finally asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Usually, Y/N and I could enjoy each other's company without speaking, but I panicked. I didn't want her to shut down as she does so often when she doesn't want people to worry or be there for her. She has always been there for everyone, but when she needs someone, she shuts down and doesn't want to be a burden. Kel is usually the one that can get her to talk, but she was here. While we have known each other for eight years, she seemed embarrassed or shy when opening up to me.

"Yes, Scarlett, I heard you!" Snaps Y/N, her voice laced with anger as she says my name. My heart drops. I know she's upset and can't fault her for being angry, but it still hurts how she says my name.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?" I ask, almost pleading with her to say yes.

"I am fine. Why wouldn't I be okay? Not as if my father truly cared about me. I haven't seen him in almost a year and a half." I can tell she's trying to convince herself that her father passing away doesn't affect her, but I know it does. It's her father. She still loved him despite how many contacts they had over the years. Silence falls upon us again until she breaks it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Y/N was always quick to apologize or realize she was doing something wrong. Maybe all those years with Erin made her self-aware, or how Erin trained her to be submissive. Nonetheless, she knew that when she was in the wrong, her overthinking brain kept her in check that way. There would be nights she wouldn't be able to sleep because of one little mistake she made throughout the day. It could quickly be forgetting to put on her signal, cutting someone off, or saying exactly what she thought without thinking about it first.

"I know. It's okay. You didn't mean it. Do you want me to come over?" I ask again. Y/N was back in New York for a little while packing before she went off to England to begin filming Star Wars: The Last Jedi. However, I wasn't supposed to know that. They kept it from fans hoping they could build a spin-off or something from her character. Although that was all I knew, Y/N wanted me to be surprised. I was off to New Zealand to film Ghost in the Shell in a week.

"No, it's fine, Scar. Thank you, but I am fine. Besides, you have a lunch date with Colin. You shouldn't miss it." She replies so quickly. How is she dismissive of her feelings and quick to make sure I am okay or go out on that date with Colin? We may not have talked much over the last several weeks. I still managed to fill her in on the whole Colin situation. After the night hosting SNL, we had a fabulous time at that new sushi restaurant and had been together almost every other night after that. I told Y/N how nervous I was and what if he hurt me the same way every one of my relationships had. Y/N said that was always a risk, but she assured me she'd be there if it did happen. Ultimately, she told me I needed to take a chance at being happy. That's all she ever wanted for me.