Confide In Me| Paused

Chapter 2~ Pajamas | 'Pyjamas'

Hey beautiful, pls note that the story takes place in America so most of the terms are in American English :)

This one's a roller-coaster, hope u enjoy.

☆☆☆

♡Isabella

I slam my foot on the pedal, eager to hit the open road.Wanting to miss the morning commuters.

I manage to navigate my way through the minor traffic with ease.

Finally, spotting the exit I need and take the split, veering off onto the smaller, quieter road. Which leads to the house.

Glancing at the digital clock, a surge of anxiety passes through me. Pushing the car to it limits,trying not to cause to much noise.

I pull into the driveway, reaching for the garage remote opener and pressing the button, I inch the car forward ,waiting until I can fully pull inside.

Once I’m in, I carefully switch off the engine, feeling a sense of relief that I made it back home in time.

I step out of the car quietly and head to the door that is connected to the side of the house.

Opening it slowly, I walk in, slipping off my white convers to reduce the noise so that mother doesn’t wake.

I walk past the kitchen, the small dining room adjacent to it. A round wooden table sat in the middle and comfortable looking chairs surround it.

Only to be reminded the I’ve never had the privilege of indulging a meal seated there,

I was never allowed to.

I always eat my meals in my room, alone, although I don’t mind.

I find peace in the confinement of my room, the one place I feel safe in this house.

I can be vulnerable in my room, I can let my emotions take over and confide in my sadness.

Despite being aware that I’m not responsible, it still weighs heavily on my conscience, the fact that she hurts me.

I’ve always kept the advice a young lady once told me, in the back of my head-“Separate the facts from the feelings.”

It doesn’t help when you’re constantly stuck in your own head.

The constant chatter in my head drowns out everything else.

Every thought, every worry, every insecurity seems to dance around in a never-ending loop, like a DJ that refuses to stop playing the same song.

I long for it to end, for the silence that was once comforting to return. The silence never comes.

It feels like I am trapped in my own mind, surrounded by thoughts I can’t escape.

They are my worst enemies, constantly reminding me of my flaws, past mistakes, and fears.

I try to rationalize them, to push them aside, but they only grow louder.

It eventually becomes harder and harder to focus on anything else.

I find myself lost in thought, unable to shake off the worries. I feel trapped, suffocated by my own mind.

Unfortunately it’s the only place I can go to in times of need, the only place that I can allow myself the pleasure of wallowing.

I am unaware of the reason my mother takes her anger out on me, it’s just something I’ve grown fond of.