Confide In Me| Paused

Chapter 9~ Blue

♡ Isabella

I stand in the corner of the bookstore, my heart racing rapidly similar to that of an Aston Martin DB4,1958 version.

Beating faster than a wild stallion running in the countryside on steroids.

Yes, I may have exaggerated that but my heart is beating faster than I want it to. It shouldn't be reacting this badly. He's supposed to be a good guy.

Mrs. Martin had just finished explaining my duties and expectations.

All these responsibilities plague my head. If only my mother would try to be a bit more understanding, I mean I live under her roof, which I consider a privilege, but having to pay for everything?

Including my schooling and helping out with the rent from the age of thirteen rendered me completely and utterly devastated.

While most of my friends were able to take the extra cash they earned and spend it on themselves I had to either use it to buy pads or secretly put it in an envelope so mom could pay the bills.

I try to absorb everything she says, but my mind keeps wandering, my attention now stolen by the sight of the dusty bookshelves.

But things shifted dramatically when I turned nine.

For almost a decade now, dreams have eluded me, except for ones that bring back memories I’d rather forget.

Nightmares became my constant companions – always unsettling. I struggle to grasp how some can lay their heads on a pillow and drift into joyful dreams just minutes later.

They dream of pleasant things, like hot guys and a life full of luxury, I can hardly recall what that’s like.

I often have to coax my mind into quietness, a somewhat bothersome task. The reason is that I crave rest – my body yearns for it.

I wish to find peace within the depths of my mind, even though sleep has never come easily.

In the past, when I couldn't afford books to escape within, sleep became my free retreat, a way to distance myself from reality.

The chime of the doorbell interrupts my thoughts. I instinctively take a step back, seeking solace between the towering shelves, shielding myself from whatever or whoever -has just entered.

My eyes meet a figure I haven't encountered since I was a child. We haven't exchanged a single word since I was nine, and now he's here.

I involuntarily collide with someone else. I spin around, flustered, and find Amara, standing there, her eyes fixed on me with concern.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks, her voice warm and understanding.

I offer a weak smile, hoping to convince her that nothing is amiss, even though she can read me like an open book.

"Noting, I was just looking around," I mutter, my voice betraying my unease. Amara's gaze narrows slightly, but she lets it slide.

"You're into classics now, I see?" she teases lightly, trying to lighten the atmosphere. I chuckle nervously, grateful for her attempt to ease the tension.

"I thought you'd like some company," she continues, her eyes softening. "So, when I heard Mrs. Martin say you're beginning this week, I asked if I could accompany you.

"Maybe keep you company?" Her words warm my heart.

As our conversation ends, I turn my attention back to the stranger from my past, while Amara heads towards the self-improvement aisle.