Confide In Me| Paused

Chapter 10~ Lifeline

Content Warning: The following scene contains references to self-harm, cutting, and self-injury.

It explores an important aspect of Eli's self-development. Please read only what you are comfortable with.

In this particular scene, it is important to note that Eli's journey of self-development is a central focus.

However, it delves into the sensitive topics of self-harm. The purpose of this scene is to provide insight into Eli's struggles and his eventual growth.

Remember, taking care of yourself is of utmost importance, and it's okay to set boundaries when it comes to consuming sensitive content.

♡Eli

The warm water in the school locker room’s shower washes over me, grounding me in the present.

But just as quickly, I'm transported back to that haunting moment when I was fourteen.

Flashback-

I stand outside the hospital room, the pale blue walls accentuating my nervous excitement.

The hum of machines and the distant voices of nurses and doctors fill my ears. My heart is racing, and I can't help but smile.

A baby sister is on the way, and I'm thrilled. I pace back and forth, my sneakers squeaking softly on the cold floor.

Inside, my dad, Nathan, is with my mom, Evelyn Parker. I watch the door, which is slightly ajar, and the soft blue light spills out into the corridor.

The anticipation is palpable, and I can't wait to see the little ball of sunshine.

But then, the vivid memory fades, and I'm staring at my hands, trembling like leaves in the wind.

The flashback is a brief burst of color in contrast to reality. A flash of blue, like the doctors' scrubs, the bright lights, the scent of the hospital.

In my memory, the blue takes on a different meaning, one that brings a heavy ache to my chest.

A nurse in blue scrubs emerges from the room, her face etched with concern. I slip away, hoping not to be noticed, and position myself just outside the door, which is left partially open. My curiosity pushes me closer.

I strain to hear their conversation, and the doctor's voice reaches me, muffled but clear. "Time of death, seventeen hundred hours-," the doctor says, and the words hang in the air like a lead weight.

Panic surges through me, a relentless tide of despair.

My heart feels like it's going to explode in my chest. The room spins, and I struggle to breathe.

Each heartbeat is a thunderous drum, echoing in my ears. My vision blurs and tears stream down my face. I slide down the wall, my body trembling, my breath erratic.

"Mom," I gasp, barely able to form the word. "I can't do this without you." The words are choked out between sobs, and I clench my fists, my knuckles white.

“I still need you, I need you!”The world around me fades, and I'm enveloped in a suffocating darkness.

It's not black like my usual despair- It’s Blue. Blue. Blue.

The panic attack takes hold, and I feel like I'm drowning in grief, my body betraying me.

I can't think straight. It’s too much. Too much pressure.

The noise is overwhelming—medical equipment beeping, people rushing, voices murmuring.

It's too much, and I can't take it anymore. I need an escape, even if it's just for a moment. I turn and make my way to the nearest restroom.