.
hello, my readers, this is my first work.
this is little more than purely a place to put my poetry and thoughts, so it's gonna be a little chaotic.
.
- not my insecure ass -
my self-hating tendencies
come to visit me sometimes
a critical comment
a wrong look
a bout of pointed laughter
sinking inside my brain
scratching at me internally
to eat away at the fray of my thoughts
piercing through the thin walls of confidence
i latch onto anything that could be considered
complimentary,
desperate for validation
i am made of paper
-haha, i'm just tired-
exhaustion dripping,
gliding like poison
through my veins
a drug to me,
i am addicted.
i don't think i deserve this bullshit
but i'm not sure anymore.
i want to be alone
the people
they exhaust me
with their meaningless formalities:
youdon'treallycareaboutme
my parents
they toss my emotions aside
like last night's spaghetti
i lie for hours in the dark awake
-why does my stupid ass care?-
all these people are truly inconsequential to me
so why the fuck do their
opinions
thoughts
views
biased little lives
Matter?
because we are creatures made up of
a patchwork quilt of the
opinionsthoughtsviews
of others
pieced together like a puzzle that will never quite fit
-internally-
i am spiraling again.
like the leaves in fall
doomed to rot in the puddles of lies
backhanded compliments
acidic smiles
fake laughter
judgmental stares
but,
is it simply me coercing myself into stagnation?
.
updates will be somewhat sporadic, essentially whenever I have my shit together enough to write
as always, thanks for reading.
stay safe,
lexi
.
