Chipped Nail Polish (Lashton)

Where Luke Gets the Courage

It wouldn't just be the second time that Luke's scenery has been the same. For some reason he actually found himself wanting to leave his house to walk through the park. It made him excited until he arrived there and all these other people were around him. The park was full of more life on the weekends and when the weather could actually be called beautiful. 

His mind would be set when he woke up in the morning. He'd check his nails to see if enough of them had polish on them just in case he needed to pick at them in an emergency. He was missing color from both of his thumbs and his index fingers on both of his hands so Luke sat at his desk and picked out an electric blue nail polish to fill in the empty spaces on his fingernails. The blue didn't really go with the odd orange-pink color he already had, the nail polish jar making it appear as only orange when he bought it. The color didn't really matter as along as he had color to chip away at. 

He was sat on the same park bench he sat on every time he visited. Luke was starting to feel comfortable in that spot, which felt like he could call it his own. He picked at his nails less and less but when that other boy came around and sat under the tree, which Luke also thought as the other boy's spot, he'd look down and start picking at his nails.

When Luke was able to feel comfortable looking up at the boy, his fingers smoothing over his scratched up nail, he couldn't help but wonder what his story was. He was pretty much there every time that Luke was, which was why Luke could let himself be a bit more comfortable around the distance between them. Obviously, the other boy had to know that Luke was there just as often.

The other came over occasionally, walking out to leave the park. He always greeted Luke with a friendly voice and all Luke could do was look up at him and stare, hoping that the boy's eyes wouldn't notice he was a boy who wore nail polish. When he would give him a small wave, Luke would remain still for a second and wonder if someone made a color nail polish to match the other boy's eyes. Then Luke would get anxious over the thoughts he was having so he'd duck back down and get back to work on picking away at the colors. 

Today, for the first time in a long time, Luke was somehow able to convince himself that he could get up from the bench and walk over to the other boy. He could muster the courage and say 'hi' to him. Sure, he could easily get nervous but maybe he could finally be the one to take a first step and put himself out there. He didn't know why he wanted to go over and speak to him but that had to mean something. Otherwise, Luke could just be on the bench and not care that he was there.

He was sitting on the edge of the bench, his fingers rolling into fists, tucking his thumbs underneath his folded fingers, to try and hide his nail polish. He took in a few deep breaths, too quickly because he was trying to hard to try and calm himself down. He didn't want to have a public panic attack over getting up to speak to someone. The other boy would probably think he was some sort of freak then. 

His legs started bouncing rapidly up and down, Luke shifting his weight off to one side to keep one leg anchored so it wouldn't be in a frantic reflex. Then he allowed himself to stand up, getting one step closer and one step further from his newest comfort zone.

"Hi." Luke spoke very softly to himself as he practiced what he was going to say to the other boy once he walked the distance across the park. It was going to be embarrassing if he forgot what he wanted to say. 

He swallowed as he began walking, his arms taking their natural instincts to come up and rest up his sides and them curl up so his fists were pressed close to his chest, where he could pick at his fingers without people really noticing that he was doing it. 

Luke probably looked so nervous to anyone who watched his walk in his hunched and curled up form. Once he crossed the park path and stepped onto the grass his nerves just escalated, his arms pushing harder against his body to protect himself from danger; a danger that only existed in Luke's anxiety-filled mind. 

The other boy looked up once Luke came closer to him, Luke learning that the boy carried drumsticks around for some reason. He actually thought that was cool because he loved listening to his favorite bands. Maybe one day he could find more courage to ask the boy which ones were his favorites. 

"H-hi." Luke breathed out, his tongue wiping over his lips so his teeth could start scraping along them to get the skin to die and come off. As he stood there he felt like his legs could give out to him and his entire body could just shake spastically from how anxious he was right then. 

"Hi." The other boy sent him a warm smile, which Luke thought looked cute. 

That didn't calm Luke down at all though. It actually made him more nervous to talk to him because maybe he was developing a bit of a crush on him already. He was sure he'd walk into a tree at the park if he was strolling by and the boy sent him that smile. 

"I noticed you come around here a lot." The boy with the bandana tied around his head said.

The boy noticed him. Luke started to wonder how much he was noticed. Did he noticed that he was always looking down at his hands and that he was so focused on them all the time? What did he think about that? 

 "I'm Ashton. You want to sit down?" He asked him, moving over a bit after he invited Luke to join him.

His response was a nod, trying his best to let himself accept that this boy, now having a name, wasn't going to cause him any harm. His name was Ashton and Luke liked that name. He wanted to repeat it to himself just so he could hear it again. Luke wondered what 'Ashton' would sound like coming from his lips. 

"So, what's your name?" Ashton asked next, bringing his knees up and loosely wrapping his arms around them, his drumsticks in one hand. His head was turned to look at Luke, engaging into the conversation with him.

"Lu-Luke." He replied, shifting his weight  because he wanted to sit on his hands to hide them but he also didn't want Ashton to noticed how weird he was acting. He was being skittish enough already that he didn't want to add weird to his list of personalities yet. 

Ashton nodded his head, letting out a small hum. "It's nice to meet you, mate. I've been wanting to ask what your name was whenever I passed you but you looked lost in thought." Ashton commented.

Luke felt like he had been caught. "Yeah, s-sorry."

Ashton shook his head. "There's no need to apologize for it. I know your name's Luke now. I never thought you'd ever get up from the bench to come and say 'hi' to me. It's funny that I say 'hi' to you when I'm actually leaving but it would probably be a bit strange to say 'goodbye' to you." 

He learned a few things about Ashton. Ashton noticed that his mind was somewhere else. Ashton seemed to talk a lot. Maybe that was a nervous habit that he had and didn't want to be seen as strange? 

How would he react to Luke being strange?

That worried Luke so much.

Luke slowly turned his head to look over to Ashton, his hands coming down to rest in his lap, fingers locking into place with one another. When Ashton smiled at him again, Luke couldn't help but to smile back, feeling proud of himself for being able to do this and that Ashton seemed like a really nice boy.

Then he noticed Ashton's eyes flicker down to where Luke's hands were and suddenly Luke's defense was put up immediately. His grip on his hands tightened before Luke leaned the opposite direction of where Ashton was sitting, rolling over before he stumbled to get stand up from the ground, his hands curling up to his chest protectively again.

Ashton had seen that his fingernails had nail polish on them and the look in his colored eyes seemed a bit stunned. Of course, they were. Luke knew that way before he even stood up from the bench that day. He knew the world would judge him and think that he was weird because he did something that wasn't considered normal for a boy to do. He was a freak.

"I-I-I have to go now." Luke mumbled, already bowing his head down so he could pick at his nails once his back was turned on Ashton.

"Um, all right. Well, I'll see you around, Luke?" Ashton called out to him as he began walking away.

Luke heard him, his voice causing him to slide his fingernail along his right thumb a few times until the first crack in the electric blue layer made him feel so much more at ease. He couldn't wait to make all the blue go away so he could heal.