The Darling Of Avonlea. (jerry baynard)

In the bleak midwinter

SHE FELT like she couldn't breathe and that her heart stopped right where she stood. The look on her brother's face told her everything she didn't want to hear, and with that, her heart sank to her knees.

''Please don't..'' she choked up as her tears streamed down her face.

Gilbert stood up from where he sat and wrapped his arms around his sister. He brought his hand up to caress her head, stroking her hair as she cried in the crook of his neck. He dreaded seeing his sister like this, a crying mess.

He wished so badly for the pain she felt to go away, but he knew for the both of them, that this would not go away with ease. The loss of their father took a toll on them.

Looking around, everything seemed so strange. These four walls that used to be a home, was now nothing but four walls. It missed the warmth and comfort of a home. Now it seemed so empty. And the hollow feeling in his chest would not leave him. They both knew that.

She was suffocating much faster now, in the sea of her fears as the realization washed over her. She had been dreading this moment for months.

And now that the time for her father had come to an end, her and her brother were all alone. All they had now were each other. They were just kids who had lost their father.

There were so many things they had yet to learn and memories to make. But their father, their only parent, is gone.

In the bleak midwinter.

                                    ———

She woke up to find herself in her bed and Gilbert sleeping in a chair next to her. She smiled as she watched him sleep. God knows how much sleep he has lost.

''Gilbert, you can go sleep in your bed, you know that right?''

He sighed, ''Yeah i know..''

He got up and then stopped by the door, like he was hesitating and looked at his sister. ''Are you sure you'll be fine?''

She nodded, ''Yeah, im fine''

He frowned, ''Just call on me or come to me if you need me, okay?''

She smiled at him and nodded. With that he closed the door and she was all alone. The silence was so deafening. She had never noticed how quiet it was, until now.

She tiptoed out her room toward the front door, grabbing her coat. She stopped and sighed. Staring at her fathers room, how empty and unusual it was. She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing down that she was out to visit a friend. Just incase Gilbert noticed she was gone.

Theodore opened his front door to find the short brunette, but she looked so restless. Her skin seemed much paler, her eyebrows were scrunched ever so slightly and her brown eyes were glossed over.

Once the door opened she immediately hugged the tall boy and he held her for a while in the warm embrace.

''I heard about your father, Julie. Im so sorry..'' he whispered.

''He's gone, Theo..'' she sighed,

''And i miss him, so badly'' she choked up as he kissed her head.

''He was a good man with so much love to give. Im sure he is watching over you and Gilbert.''

She smiled weakly as he wiped away her tears with his thumb, stroking her cheek.

''Im just worried about my brother.. he always hides how he feels and its just so hard to comfort him, when his reaction is to push me away..''

''I just want to be there for him for once. He's always been there for me and now i want to do the same.''

Theodore smiled as he watched her talk about her worries. He admired how much she loves her brother, and how much Gilbert loves her. They compliment each other in the best way.

Her eyebrows deepened as she felt guilt. Guilt for not getting home in time, for not being there with Gilbert. If she had just stayed home she would've seen her father one last time and hugged him one last time.

But that didn't happen.

She didn't see him one last time nor hug him. He's gone. The amount of times she had blamed herself were endless.