Her Forgotten ~Tomura Shigaraki x OC AU~

Chapter 22: The Broken to Breakers

Illika

One week.

It has been one week since the morning I woke up in Tomura's bed, and we have barely exchanged a single word since then. And it's not due to a lack of trying. I have. Whenever I've seen him, I've tried to talk, but between Re-Destro and Compress humming around him, I can't seem to catch him alone. Then, I spent two more nights in his room thinking he'd be there, only for him to never show, leaving me to believe he's not getting any sleep again.

And that maybe – just maybe – he might be avoiding me.

There's been this hollowness in the pit of my stomach since that morning a week ago. I never meant to say or ask anything that would upset him. Not intentionally. It's just...I thought that we were beyond this by now. Beyond the walls. Beyond the hidden emotions. Beyond the secrets. I see now that, that assumption is wrong.

I would apologize to him. I would say my wrongs and mean every bit of it, but I can't do that if I can't have a moment between the two of us for just five minutes. And the truth is, I am sorry. The guilt is consuming me from the inside out. I genuinely hate that I made him feel that way.

I truly –

"You're awfully quiet," Toga says. She sits at my side, eating something from its packaging, her unique eyes locked on me. "What's up with that?"

For a moment, I almost consider answering that question truthfully – my mouth even pops open, ready to spill – but I think better of that. Toga and all of the PLF, really, might be aware of my and Tomura's shenanigans, but I don't feel too enticed to share this bit. I mean, I saw Tomura naked, finally. He allowed me to see him, and in turn, all his scars, and I'm not entirely sure about the other's awareness of that. So, I don't want to lose what bit of him still trusts me.

I shrug. "Just not feeling very chatty today. Sorry."

Her sharp eyes remain on me, scanning for what feels like an eternity. I can feel her stare scraping through mine, searching for the truth, and for a moment I almost believe she does when she throws back a few more candies, speaking through her food.

"If you say so." She sits for a moment, the wheels turning – I can tell – then shifts. "Since you're not feeling chatty, do you mind if I yap away?"

"Have at it."

And she does. She rambles away, complaining about no one thing in particular. She rants about how annoying she finds Dabi to be. I guess Dabi rubs multiple people the wrong way. Then, she huffs and puffs over Re-Destro, claiming she finds him to be dull and boring. I don't quite view him the same way she does, but understanding her mentality, I can understand her point. Then for a moment she shifts to Twice, telling me the shenanigans the two have been up to. I can't help but wonder where I was during their newest adventures.

Then it hits.

I've been sulking, worrying about Tomura. Concerned about whether or not he's okay – whether or not he's upset with me.

I frown.

When did I become this way? When did I become the type of woman that locks herself away, pacing her room as a man occupies her mind? When did that happen, and why did I let it?

It's conflicting, really. Part of me wants to kick my own ass. I don't understand how I became soft or when. It's not like me at all. Then again, I look at the girl to my side, watching as she chirps away, smiling, then complaining, then back again, talking a mile a minute, and I wonder when I allowed myself to grow close to her, too.

Then there's Twice. And Compress. And – believe it or not – Dabi and Spinner, and that question grows louder and louder. When did I allow myself to grow close to any of them?

The truth is, I don't know. It happened so stealthily and unbeknown to me. One minute, I was still waiting for the next adventure after this to pop up, the next, I'm sitting next to Toga, listening to her bitch, and I don't mind it. I don't mind any of this. The annoyance that is Dabi. The hesitation that was Spinner. The confusion that can be Twice. The glee that often time is Compress. The friendliness that is Toga. The warmth that is Tomura.

I don't mind any of it. In fact, I think...I think that maybe –

"Ya know, I still remember when Compress told us about you." She turns, looking at me. "I won't lie, I was hesitant at first. I didn't trust you. To me, you were just some foreigner sticking her nose in the wrong place." She hooks one of her arms through mine and leans her head against my shoulder. "But that was wrong. You're not just some foreigner. You're like us. A misfit that society sees as bad or evil. You're like me."

Her voice is so soft and small. The tender side of Toga that most of the world doesn't know, but Twice and I have seen it. We've seen the way she feeds the stray cats every evening without fail. I've witnessed how she's helped Jin when he's in a bad headspace when his mask is abruptly removed. Then there are the countless things she has done for me, such as taking me into her little group, showing me how things operate.

Even when the rest of the world views her as bad and deems her as evil, I see the good in her. I see those bits and pieces overlooked. And I see that in all of them. Underneath those rough exteriors lay some brilliant minds and gorgeous souls.

I smile, resting my head on top of hers. "I rather be a misfit with you than be a normie like them."

Sure, they've all done some horrible things, but horrible things were done to them first. They each fought their own battles with society. They've been hurt – mentally, physically, and emotionally – and they've been traumatized. Each one of them, all slowly broken over the years. But they got tired of being broken.

So, now the broken are the ones doing the breaking.

**Ello lovelies! How are y'all doing? I hope you're all doing well! If not, then I genuinely hope your day/evening/night improves! So, there wasn't really a whole lot in this chapter. That said, Illika seems to feel as though she has gone through some kind of change with the little League group. Which, give the snippets we know of her, isn't really all that bad. Do you think this means anything? Feel free to make a guess! In other news, today was Mother's Day (05/14/2023) here in the States. My mom chose to celebrate out of state, so my sisters and I celebrated with my grandma. All in all, it was a spectacular day. I hope all the mommas out there had a nice day! As always, thank y'all so much for everything! Y'all are the bestest! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross