Her Forgotten ~Tomura Shigaraki x OC AU~

Chapter 27: Chasing Sunshine

Illika

The base is buzzing.

More than usual. Then again, maybe not. Maybe it has always been this busy, and I just never noticed. Never gave it a second look, just as all these familiar faces passing me. Almost none of them even shoot me a simple glance. Not once. They just go. Have they all always been here? Maybe. And then again, maybe not.

The soles of my boots scuff the linoleum as my steps fall heavily, my heels dragging. My legs carry me through the crowd of villains and double-agent heroes, my shoulder cutting through as a blade.

All the while, my heart beats wildly against my sternum as anxious nerves pump through my veins. I chew my lips, pulling thin shreds of dead skin. A sickening, sinking feeling falls to the pit of my stomach. And for what?

Because I want out?

I wince at that thought. At the thought of leaving, breaking myself from this organization – from the PLF. From the League. From them.

This decision didn't come easily. I weighed it, rolling it around and around, thinking about it over and over and over, spending sleepless night after sleepless night going back and forth. But finally, I have come to a verdict. I can't stay here. I can't remain in this place, actively doing nothing.

I haven't been useful much these days. Not since I ended up in the infirmary. And not since Tomura and the others have been laying small steps to their plans without me. Excluding me. And though Jin and Toga still make time to be around me, the others have become scarce. Especially Tomura.

But my leaving is not solely a reflection of the lack of inclusivity. It may partly play a role, but the main reason I want out is much simpler than that. The main drive for my decision is this: I'm bored.

I'm bored.

That's all there really is to it. I'm bored, and to be honest, everything about the PLF has grown stagnant to me. There isn't enough movement anymore. There isn't enough action and steps being taken. At least, not enough involving me. It's almost as if they barely even rely on me anymore. As if they don't need me.

All I do is mosey about the base, wandering the halls. Reading books in the library. Hanging out in one of the several recreational rooms. Watching the clouds on one of the balconies. All dull and meaningless in what I thought was supposed to be my role in making a difference. But I'm not doing that. I am not making a difference. I am not liberating anyone. I am merely existing.

So, why not just merely exist somewhere else?

And that's where the nerves come from. As I walk, I can feel them bubbling in the pit of my stomach. They make me feel queasy, which is irritating. I've never felt this way when deciding to leave a location before. Not even when I left Ohio. Not when I left my parents and my childhood home. I just left, not looking back. But this time feels different.

I stop. The door stands tall. Menacingly. It's intimidating, really. Which is stupid. I've walked through this threshold so many times over the last several months. The unofficial war room that Tomura and the rest of the League have claimed as their own. And everyone knows. All of the PLF know what this room is, and none – with the exception of Re-Destro and a few higher officers – dare to step into it.

I sigh.

This is stupid. I don't have to do this. There is no logical reason to do this. I could just leave. Never say a word. I could even leave right now. Pack up my things and go or wait until the fall of night and slip away. It'd be easy. I doubt anyone would try to stop me, but if they did, I could use my quirk. Erase my existence from their memory and run. But I doubt it'd be that hard.