Her Forgotten ~Tomura Shigaraki x OC AU~

Chapter 3: Red Eye Night

Illika

There is so little I know.

That thought has been swirling through my mind since I left Toga's room three hours ago. And now, here I am. Laying tucked under the covers in my own bed, staring up at a blank ceiling through the darkness, thinking.

My thoughts are firing off at rapid speed, moving fast and clumsily like a hasty newborn foal. They stagger and dash, bouncing off the walls of my brain, and there's nothing I can do to quiet them. They are so loud. And for what? Why?

Because there is so little I know.

It always circles right back to that. To that one underlining fact. To the fact that there is so very little that I know about them.

I know the surface-level bit. I know their names and their quirks. I even know why they're all here fighting the good fight. However, that is all I know. I mean, sure. I know that Toga has a sweet tooth and that Twice freaks out if someone takes his mask off, but that's face-value information. Anyone can learn that just by observing them. Which once again brings me right back to the very first point.

I know so little.

Dabi, Mr. Compress, Spinner, Toga, Jin, and Tomura - all of them. They are all three-dimensional people with feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, and more that I only know two-dimensionally. The absolute bare minimum.

Then again, they also know so little about me. They know my name and what my quirk is. They even know why I'm here fighting the good fight, but they don't know anything else.

My hometown - where I'm from. What my childhood was like. My past. Why I am the way I am. None of them know any of those things. They are every bit as oblivious about me as I am about them. So, I guess that makes me two-dimensional in a sense.

Red eyes.

Red eyes flash through my mind. Abruptly. Without warning. Sharp and intense just as always.

He is in that same cluster with the rest of them. A walking mystery with even more mystery following him. I'd even dare to say he's shrouded in it. Bathed in it as the moon bathes the trees.

I've had sex with him so many times now. I've felt his body against mine. I've tasted his lingering on my lips. My teeth have sunk into his flesh as his did mine. He has held me, pinned me, fucked me until I was shaking. And he's seen me naked. He has gotten to touch and feel my naked body, but I have yet to see or touch his naked body.

He won't show me. He won't let me lay my eyes on his unclothed body. He won't let me touch the skin of his abdomen. He barely lets me touch him with his clothes on. There are times that he pins my arms above my head, restraining me. Almost as if he doesn't want me to feel any part of him.

But I still feel it sometimes. The way he holds his breath or flinches. The way his muscles twitch. He might not think that I notice any of that, but I do. It might be faint, but I still feel it. And I can't help but wonder...

What hand hurt him so badly that he flinches so much?

I sigh, rolling over onto my side. I'm overthinking this, of course. I'm putting way too much thought into all this. It's stupid, really. In the end, we're all here because we all have something to gain - we all have a goal. So, in a way, we're all like coworkers. All gathered in the same place to do the same thing.

So what if I don't know everything about them? They don't know everything about me either. To the other, we are all many separate pieces that make whole people. And these whole people each have separate lives that aren't completely entangled here.

The cause that the PLF fights for brought us together. It made us a unit. But it does not bind us on an overly intimate level. Not molecularly, and not wholly. We are still separate and individual.

Even so, his eyes still flash through my mind.

**Hello, lovelies! A bit of a look into Illika's head for this chapter. Seems her thoughts were spinning. Should be interesting where we'll all go from here. The fun comes in the journey! Wow. I can't believe that (at the time of typing this - 03/21/2023) it's already almost April. 2023 is already flying by. Crazy. Anyway, keep being kind to yourself! Thank y'all so, so much! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross