SHARING EMMA [18+]

33. Hint of Fear

|EMMA|

As I sit on the couch in the living room, my mind is consumed with thoughts of my pregnancy. It's only been three days since I found out, but already, the idea of becoming a mother is taking hold of me. The fear is still there, gnawing at my insides, but I can't help feeling a glimmer of excitement.

To ease my anxiety, I've been watching every movie about pregnancy that I can find. It's become a strange sort of obsession. The way those women talk about their babies and their pregnancies, it's almost like a rite of passage into womanhood. And I don't want to miss out on that.

I know that relying on movies to make such a life-changing decision is not the wisest thing to do, but at the moment, it's all I have. As much as I longed to talk to my mom and seek her advice, she had always been distant and unsupportive. I couldn't bring myself to ask her for guidance when I knew she thought of me as a mistake.

My dad could have been an option, but the thought of telling him over the phone seemed cruel. I needed to see him face-to-face, so I could read his reaction and figure out the best way to break the news.

I wish that was my only concern, but unfortunately, I have more pressing issues to deal with. My nightmares have morphed into something much more intense lately. I can't seem to shake the image of a woman who keeps appearing in them, and each time I wake up, I'm covered in sweat and gasping for air. It's as if she's haunting me for a reason that I'm finding hard to understand.

I've tried everything to find the man she was speaking to on the beach when I first saw her, but it's like he's vanished into thin air. I remember seeing him at Ryker's place before, but I can't bring myself to go back there after what happened during my last visit. The mere thought of confronting Ryker again makes my heart race with anxiety.

I can't shake this nagging feeling that something is seriously amiss on this island, and it's making me feel increasingly uneasy and unsafe.

All of these concerns are leading me to contemplate something new, and something that's been on my mind for a while now – leaving the island. While I initially came here to relax and unwind, it seems like this paradise has turned into a prison, and I'm ready to escape.

I've been feeling nervous since I woke up this morning, and the thought of talking to Carlos about it only makes my anxiety worse. We started out as a casual fling, but our relationship has grown more serious during our time here. We've yet to have the "what are we" talk, and I'm not sure how he'll react to my decison to leave.

I'm worried that this conversation could change everything, and I don't know if I'm ready for so many changes in my life just yet. Would he want to go public with our relationship, or keep things under wraps for a while longer? I have no idea and it's making me anxious.

Right as I'm about to spiral back into my thoughts, the sound of shuffling footsteps behind me jolts me back to reality. I'm relieved to be pulled out of my own head for a moment.

I hear the sound of the door opening, and I turn my head to see Carlos making his way into the room. His fingers are twisted around the knot of his tie, his other hand running through his tousled hair.

As he approaches me, I can see the exhaustion etched on his face, but his smile is still warm and welcoming. "Hey," he greets me, his voice tinged with weariness.

I quickly close the magazine in my lap, giving him my full attention. "Hey, you're back early? I thought you had another hour before you were finished for the day."

He takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch, his suit jacket slung haphazardly over the armrest. "I wrapped things up early. I couldn't concentrate on work."