"Life is about give and take; you know this better than anyone; the deal is clear, either you take an in, or war it shall be.
"It's indeed give and take, so why do I feel like the only one who gives without receiving anything in return?"
"Because th...
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"Ahh, deeper, oh fuck."
Autumn nights are long and carry sweet scents of rain-sprinkled soils; they're quiet and stand out from the shorter, noisier nights of summer; the autumn breeze is a caress, a gentle peach breath that delights the senses, a salve for scars that couldn't heal in the heat of summer.
"Fuck, you're amazing...so tight."
The breeze coming from the window bothered no one although the shivers; in all cases, the fault lies with the sweat, with the diabolical droplets that kept forming and rolling down the curves of the busy bodies that found their purpose in exploring the heights and mountains of the forbidden lands, taking the brain out of the confusion in a walk to enjoy the paradise of forgetting, of oblivion.
"Ahh..faster, ah, I'm cumming, ahhh."
"Get on the throne, my queen; show me how fast you can ride."
And you were fast; he just didn't know it; you were quick to move on, to forget; actually, it was your prowess; he should have gotten to know your soul better before exploring your curves and every mole, but it doesn't matter, no, not at all, his time is limited, and when he's done the job, he'll be thrown away just like the previous ones, after all, he had only one task, to guide your brain to a momentary peace.
But damn, he seemed like a badly cut batch of white girl, providing a temporary high that lasts only seconds, only to be followed by severe nosebleeds.
But temporary or not, you couldn't care less; you didn't have time to go in search of a pure product to numb the pain, so over the throne you sat, enjoying the few minutes of oblivion where you will be taking your mind off the past, off the fucking cursed memories that have turned sour like a trauma that refuses to leave the brain for a second.
"Damn, girl, fuck this sweet pussy of yours; I'm drowning in it."
"Be quiet, ahh; be fucking quiet and fuck me good and deep instead."
"At your orders, my queen."
Everything was as usual; the house still reeked of alcohol from time to time, but now with a repetitive frequency. Still, it wasn't shocking; the sweet moans that filled the nearly empty room were nothing new either; you were a girl who knew how to satisfy her body, a woman who knew how to tend to mature desires; new men who shared only one aspect - striking beauty - were nothing the walls of your tiny apartment wasn't familiar with, they might be different every night, but they all looked the same under your sheets, all served the same purpose, all moaned in the same way when their lust exploded in one of the condoms you had procured before the adventure began.
Everything was the same if you look at the details, but when you look at the situation, nothing was the same; everything became deviant, new, unfamiliar, and that almost scared you; it scared you so much that you no longer needed these men to feel your femininity, to hear compliments and to satisfy your senses, you needed them to forget the guards that had been following you since you had returned to your apartment, and to forget the week you went off signal and disappeared, so that even your mother, who had never called, tried to reach you, only to leave a voicemail message asking you to behave a little and go to her.
